CONGRATULATE YOU
on your excellent performance -

ole ole ole !!! You deserve it my dearest Dingus!!
Secondly, I would like to comment on some points of your (excellent) debriefing:
The Mundane.
1. you are right
2&6. again you are right. In my opinion, graduate secretaries have a much more important role than univ let us believe. I have heard that sometimes they make the first cut-off, dinging a major part of the applicant pool.
7. No comment either
SOP
9. That's true. However, I am not sure if they read your
SOP prior or after you are admitted. In any case, in all my admits I was contacted by one of the profs mentioned in my
SOP, and they actually knew in what area I would like to specialize in! I guess, the
SOP is more important in Cancer Epi than in other fields.
Possible general hypotheses:
1) Although I have no experience with interviews, this seems true :-)
Possible theories about the Dings.
3) I want to focus on JHU: Weird decision, eh??? I conclude that they didn't come to a definite decision for your application. Maybe, they could not find any plausible ground on which to ding you, so they gave you the (useless because unfunded) MS admit. The reason they gave you just sucks.
Dingus, I wish you the best of luck with your decision!!! At any rate, we will be here to congratulate you again for your final destination . Your presence in TM is comprehensive, starting back in sept in the
GRE forum, and covering a broad range of topics from lounge/english forums to econ phd admission

and toefl. Certainly you are the KING here :-)
Cheers to your Diligence
Cheers to your Impressive presence at TM
Cheers to your Next success in life
Cheers to your Genius mind
Cheers to your Ultimate decision
Cheers to the Spectacular time we have had here with you
Overall, Cheers to D-I-N-G-U-S
-you are less dingy than you think-