Hello everyone,
Here are some classic guy-in-a-bar-with-a-pet jokes:
A guy walks into a bar with a dog and tells the bartender "If I can show you a dog that can speak like a human, is my beer on the house?".The bartender agrees, and the guy turns to his dog.
"What is the top layer of a house called?" The dog replies "Roof!".
"How does sandpaper feel?" The dog replies "Ruff!"
"Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog replies "Ruth!"
The bartender kicks them both out of the bar.
On the street, the dog looks at the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio".
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender "If I show you the most amazing thing, do I get a free drink?"The bartender says "Let's see what you've got".The man displays a parrot in a cage and asks it to sing "Happy Birthday to you", which it does.The bartender replies
"That's nothing, most parrots can talk".So the guy pulls out a frog from his pocket and it procceds to sing "Twinkle,twinkle little star".
The person on the next stool is amazed and offers to buy the frog.The guy replies "You can have him for the price of a drink".The man pays up,takes the frog and leaves.The bartender says "It's none of my business, but you just gave away a fortune".To which the man replies, "Not really, the parrot is also a ventriloquist".
Kaushik