Hauser.
I just got my
AWA scores back and I got a 6. So I may have some good advice for you.
Keep it simple! Yes you can be eloquent and use big words, but honestly all you need to do on these is take a stance and support with examples. The readers are literally skimming these passages quickly. If you start talking in gibberish.. they will get tired quickly. Intro paragraph should state question, whether or not you agree and a little intro as to what you are going to discuss to support your opinion.
Write down a few (two or three) and make each paragraph about that example. Use nice transition words etc.
Sum it up with a short conclusion restating your points and bingo. Youre done.
I stuck a little humor in there as well. I thought the readers would be offended but aparantly they liked it. Don't kill yourself over the
AWA.
I got about two sentences into your essay and my brain started to wander. Be as direct as you can. The GMAC will reward you for it.