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hey Hauser, keep working on those essays. It gets better with lots of practice! one common mistake people make is the use of myriad. it should never be used in "myriad of" because it is not a noun. So if you want to use it to describe abundant/a variety of people say "myriad people". Another thing to keep in mind is the use of "one does so and so.." With the use of one there is no specific gender. Therefore, if you must mention gender you have to say "he or she". Never simply assume "he" as you did in the first paragraph.
these are just technical problems that lots of people make in writing. Once you know it, you'll never make the same mistake again. =)
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