190. The following is a letter to the editor of the Glenville Gazette, a local newspaper.
"Over the past few years, the number of people who have purchased advance tickets for the Glenville Summer Concert series has declined, indicating lack of community support. Although the weather has been unpredictable in the past few years, this cannot be the reason for the decline in advance ticket purchases, because many people attended the concerts even in bad weather. Clearly, then, the reason for the decline is the choice of music, so the organizers of the concert should feature more modern music in the future and should be sure to include music composed by Richerts, whose recordings Glenville residents purchase more often than any other contemporary recordings. This strategy will undoubtedly increase advance ticket purchases and will increase attendance at the concerts."
The author of the argument addresses some points that may be the reason of the declining in the purchase of the Glenville Summer Concert (GSC) advance tickets. At the end of his argument, he suggests some solutions in order to increase the purchase of the advance tickets. The author's argument seems unsubstantiated and his conclusions are unconvincing.
First of all, the author claims that over the past few years, the number of the people purchasing the advance tickets for GSC is declining. He suggests that the reason for this declining indicates the lack of community support. This claim is unsupported because the author doesn't cite any statistical data to support his claim. He must include some data in his argument to prove the decrease of the community support. The decrease in the ticket purchase may be resulted from any other reasons. This may include the increase in the tickets price or perhaps these concerts are organized in unfavorable times where the people are busy in their jobs or studies.
Secondly, the author claims that the unpredictable weather in the past few years has no relation to the decrease in the tickets purchase. He asserts that many people attended these concerts even in bad weather. This claim is implausible because it needs to be supported by some evidences. The author must provide his claim with some data and surveys. Perhaps when the people attended these concerts, the weather was not so bad. May be the "bad weather" was only windy or recorded somewhat high temperature compared to the average degrees during the year. In order to support his claim "that people attended concerts even in bad weather", the author must cite some data of the weather conditions to ensure that people has attended concerts even in bad weathers. Perhaps if the supporters of such concerts found that the weather is so bad (rainy or snowy), they would refrain from attending such concerts.
The author then concludes that the main reason for the decline of the purchase of the tickets is the choice of music. This is unconvincing due to the above mentioned reasons which could be the actual reason of the decline such as the increase of ticket price, the unfavorable schedules of the concerts and the bad weather during these concerts.
The author suggests that the organizers must feature more modern music in the future and to be sure to include music composed by Richerts, whose recordings Glenville residents purchase more often than any other contemporary recordings.
Again, the author must provide statistical data to ensure the preferred types of music. It is important to define the kind that the audience prefers before suggesting to change the type of music displayed in these concerts. Perhaps the audience may not like the new music. Furthermore, the music composed by Richerts although popular, may not attract the attention of the supporters of the GSC concerts since they already have his recordings. They might be inclined to attend these concerts in order to enjoy other types of music.
To sum up, the author's argument is somewhat unsubstantiated and lack some evidences to support his claims. In order to strengthen his argument, he needs to add some surveys to indicate the decline of the ticket purchase. He also needs to provide his argument with some statistical data about the weather condition to confirm his claim about attendances of the audience to these concerts even in bad weather.
would u plz comment on my argument???
i would be so grateful if u add some suggestions to this argument
thanx in advance