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another note for content:
- the assumption that music is the preferred of the town: how do they know that this sample who buy Richarts records represent the choice of the town?
- others may prefer to listen to the radio, or internet, or watch music videos to buying records
- therefore, the representativeness of this sample is questionable
note on writing:
- don't use first, second, third..etc to begin your paragraphs. it's not sophisticated as furthermore, moreover, in addition..etc.
- you can't simply assume "the author" as male by using he. you should either stick with he or she, or dont mention the author at all. your points can still be made without mentioning the author.
Other than these minor points, i'd say a job well done on analyzing!
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