View Single Post
Old 07-27-2008, 11:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
chimerical
Trying to make mom and pop proud
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 26
chimerical just joined TestMagic.
Say something like "The council argues that..." instead of "Argument given states that..."

No numbered lists!! Everything should be in paragraph form.

Lots of awkward phrasing. "Argument is having" should be changed to "The argument has." The sentence starting with "In below paragraphs" should be eliminated completely.

Those are just the first things that jumped out at me upon scanning your essay. Your critique is decent, albeit less detailed than it could be, but the writing itself needs a lot of work. The overall impression I get is that you used a template, because it's very mechanical in a "fill in the blanks" kind of way. You'll need to make it more sophisticated if you want a good score.
chimerical is offline   Reply With Quote