Hi, I think this
AWA deserves 4.0 or 4.5.
I would point out the strengths and weakness of the Issue.
Strength:
Quite well defined. Has couple of examples.(thats good). Takes a strong side and also shows the other side of the curtain.
Weakness:
I think the topic demands some comparison between individual working and team working.. so here a example for individual working can help. There is a scope of 1-2 examples in the beginning of the essay. At some places there is a scope to use a superior vocabulary to add some charms to the essay.
Apart from my analysis, I have a question as well.. or may I would say a suggestion.. If I was to write a essay on this... I would have included a couple of lines on
' Cooperation ..which motivates people much more than individual competition does.'
Now here there is one point that i would have refuted saying how 'cooperation motivates people'? I would say its the individual performance of the members in the team may actually motivate the team.. coz even if we talk about a team its made of members.. and as a whole a performance by a team is (to a extent) dependent on the performance of the individual constituents of the team.....
Please reply back your views.. if you please. we can discuss other topics as well..