Hi JonRiemann! 
I read your essay and I have the following comments:
The introduction is "pretty scary" 
I feel that you are expressing your opinions in this paragraph and as you know you are not allowed to give your personal opinions in an argument.
But it would be better to ask second opinion from other Test Magicians.
I couldn't get your point of view in the third paragraph.
Some sentences need to be reorganized.
These points also can be added:
1) A survey must be cited to prove that only Silver Screen suffers a decline in Movies' attendance. Because if other Movies Companies suffer the same decline in number of attendance, the advertisement can't be the reason of the decline but it could be attributed to other factors such as economic recession or an increase in the ticket price.
2) The author gives a hasty conclusion that the decline in number of movies' attendance is attributed to the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available (bad advertising). Perhaps the public are aware of the presence of these good movies but they are unable to attend such movies due to other factors such as bad timing, i.e. people are busy with their jobs and exams.
3) Another point that could be illustrated, that there could be a competition by other Movies' Companies who produce better movies that can compete with Silver Screen's movies. Perhaps they are hiring much favorable actors and actresses compared to those appearing in Silver Screen's movies.
Hope that you don't mind my comments.
See u soon and keep posting.
sorry for not rating the argument i'm not good at that mission. 
