This is a well-written essay. The structure is clear and clean. The language is grammatical. However I think you would probably receive a 4.5 because the length is not enough.
There are 282 words in your essay. I have heard that you need 400 words to get a 6. I counted the sample ones that got the highest scores; they all have more than 500 words.
- You can probably add more sentences in your intro to attack the argument, and mentioned what you're going to say in your following paragraphs, instead of "because of the following reasons".
- Is the mineral level in the spring water too much, too little, or just enough? You have raised the question of whether it is contaminated. That's a really good point. You should have attacked more...imagine how much you hate the author that you want him dead! hehe
- Also in your "First of all" paragraph, you can raise the questions, such as whether people moved to Augusta when they retired (so the residents seem to have a longer life), whether they actually drink the spring water or just tap water.
- In your "moreover" paragraph, besides asking for reasons to prove tap water is less useful, also raise a fact that tap water quality varies from city to city; therefore, the author cannot generalize the conclusion that "it is a superior choice over drinking general tap water"....tap water in which city??
I think with all the points mentioned above, it should get your essay up to more 400 words
