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Please read my essay and tell me what you think!!!!


Malice Artist

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This is my first sophomore year English paper. It's meant to be a funny twist on the essay "A Nice Cup of Tea" by George Orwell. The assignment was to write instructions on one task so it would be, in a manner, perfect. Like your own way of doing something, it could be serious or just entertaining. The reason I'm posting it is because I received a "D" on it. I'll talk to the teacher tomorrow about it, but right now it just eating me up. I've counted a couple mistakes (spelling) and the punctuation is meant to be the way it is (all messy). Just wanted to know what others think of it and to try to understand why I got a "D". Thanks in advanced:)

 

"Many people, just before they go to bed, lay out their clothes for the following day. On average they spend from ten minutes to three hour just to pick one outfit out. Really no joke! Some think about what the need in an outfit an others don't. For those that don't, shame on you, but don't worry I'll educate you on the proper way to dress.

First off, if you care about what others think and your self confidence really needs it then go out, buy and wear some Gucci outfit or whatever is in fashion. Even if the pants cut off circulation to your feet, even if that shirt dangerously compresses your chest, wear it. If it makes you feel good or rather if it makes other openly accept your outfit. Poser! Plus if you’re willing to put your health on the line, go ahead. Survival of the fittest. Just saying that it won't be all that sad if at the funeral it’s like, "How she /he die?" "She/he was an idiot." "Oh, well at least she/he looked good." But if your confident and feel comfortable in your skin wear those comfy pair of old pant, that shirt with the faded design or the off brand shoes. Do it, if you really need to!

Plan ahead! If you want to wear flip flops make sure you don’t offend someone wearing shoes. If someone with shoes on makes you mad, go look for someone with flip flops and vent, you’ll be on even ground.

When picking a shirt, just make sure it fits you. Remember there is no such thing as a belly shirt for guys. And those with muffin tops should never wear belly shirts. It’s always an option to wear baggy shirts, man and woman alike. As a man with a cangue and not a six pack take it from me baggy shirts are the best. The last thing with shirts is turtle necks. Let’s face it they suck and if you like them, I don’t care.

Pants are alike shirts except instead of turtle neck it skinny jeans and again if you like them, I don't care.

One word undies. Possibly the greatest word in the English language. As a guy I know underwear, but to each man his own that’s really how it is. And as a guy I have my own opinion on women and them wearing underwear. But since this is a school paper I won't go there, it would be considered rude, and possibly sexist. So I won’t say any more at this moment on this subject.

As previously stated don't wear clothes that will make you easily chased down or that impede on your movements. These could easily get you beat down.

Zombies! Prepare for the unexpected and unlikely. Luckily zombies are slow so if you know something involving zombies will go down, you can wear flip flops. That leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but it’s true.

Finally, the most important thing. Wear clothes you can have fun in. not that type of fun! Make sure you can be spontaneous in your clothes. You never know when a surprise carnival will arrive or, god hope not, you get kidnapped and have to go through deadly trials to escape your captors. This thing may not ever happen, especially the carnival thing, but your teacher may not assign home work and you’ll be able to have fun with friends after school.

But in conclusion, when picking clothes just don't think too much into it."

 

p.s. its not supposed it be indented. Thanks again:)

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