Give me a hand.

[dong]

I've just tried to work on my essay in 30 minutes. But I'm wonder what will be the grade of this essay in the actual TOEFL test. Could any help me with grading this essay? Thank you in advance.

The topic is : "Advertising is common throughout the world. Some people feel that advertising is generally helpful and others feel that it is generally harmful. Discuss your ideas of the good and bad effects of advertising, and decide whether you think it is generally helpful or harmful. Use specific examples to support your point of view".

Here is the essay :

Nowadays, advertising appears everywhere. It can be on television, on newspapers or on signs. It is a profitable way of doiing business but like everthing in the nature, it has two sides_ the good effects and bad effects.
It can be useful in informing the prices as well as introducing about products. One findit comfortable hearing about the new products on TV while eating dinner or running errands. This manner is surely preffered to putting on clothes rushing to the roads to find what we need. With a television at home, one has already have the comaprision among products, the reliable adresses of them and the only thing to do is going to the exact shop.
But the harmful effects of advertising is considerable. A lot of poeple find it annoying doing their work while advertisements keep shouting on TV. Some advertising are so well prepared that one is entranced by the bad product, leaving the good ones untouched. Moreover the signs hanging everywhere make the passengers especially those who want to go sight-seeing frustrated.
Although advertising has the hamful effects, in general, it is helpful. It often provides us the best choice of what we need.



Moved to appropriate forum by Erin.

[sanjana]

Hi,
Essay seems good, but you have to give some other specific reasons and examples to suppport your answer.Onje Introductory paragraphs, 2 body pargraphs, 1 concluding..like that.
You can do better next time.

[Erin]

You really should practice writing on the TOEFL essay topics, not non-TOEFL topics.

This essay is much, much too short. Try for at least 250 words. This essay has 197.

Since this is not a TOEFL essay, I shouldn't give it a score.

[dong]

Thank you for the precious information!
I just take an essay in my TOEFL book to try. I'll try some TOEFL essay later.