My AWA needs impovement

[Lisa_GMAT]

Hi,

If some one has a chance to check my AWA It would be really helpful.
I know most of my weaknesses but sometime it is better if someone else is going to evaluate your performance. I do appriciate constructive critisism!
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The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen
foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become
more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day
service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And

since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th
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The author argues that Olympic Foods can increase its cost efficiency and thus bust profits by teaching its ersonal more effective work strategy. This argument is unconvincing because it ignores certain crusial sumptions.
First of all, the author assumes that since similar strategy worked well for color film processing company, it might as well work perfectly for Olympic Foods. There are a number of reasons this might not be the true. For example, the author compares two companies working in two different industry; what might be good for one is not neccesaraly good for another. Food companies, such as WallMart, have to sell its product quickly because otherwise all the products would go bad; consequently they are going to loose their market share. However, film companies work in a long run because it takes some time to produce a movie.
Secondly, the author fails to consider that economic conditions in 20th century might not be relevat to novadays economy.For instance, current economical downturn changed the way how people thought about the market, it is changed management tacktik and made people think far beyand conventional wisdom. If Banks used to land money to most of the applicant, now they implemented more taugher rules, and it is became much harder to get a loan without appropriate paper work.
Finally, the argument never mentions the statistical data in food industries that could be very helpful in determining effectiveness of their plan. If the author could provide more information about Olympic Foods production for the past couple of years, it would significanly improve his argument.
Thus, this argument is not completely sound. To make his claim more sufficient, the author would have to provide more evidence to support his view such as statistical data, strategy implication in the same industry as well as under different economical sircumstances. Without this supportive data, his argument would not be sufficiently strengthen.

[Lisa_GMAT]

Thank you guys!