Rate my AWA - AA essay

[gmat-novice]

The following appeared in the health section of a magazine on trends and lifestyles:
“People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar, since aspartame can actually
contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example, high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a
craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. Furthermore,
studies suggest that sugars, if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, actually enhance the
body’s ability to burn fat. Consequently, those who drink aspartame-sweetened juices after exercise will also lose this
calorie-burning benefit. Thus it appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve
their dietary goals.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
Start Time: 7.45pm
End Time: 8.04 pm

conclusion - sugar is better than aspartame
evidences - aspartame depletes brain of chemicalsthat registers satiety
sugar consumption after 45 minutes enhaces fat burning ability
assumption - sugar does not deplete chemical
aspartame does not enhance fat burning ability
no other benefits of aspartame
no other harmful effects of sugar

The argument concludes that people are better off consuming sugar as compared to consuming aspartame. The argument provides two evidences to illustrate the point. As it stands, the argument is flawed in light of the weak evidences cited and assumptions made by the argument. The argument can be strengthened by providing evidences supporting its assumptions.
First, the argument states that aspartame depeltes the brain of the chemical that registers satiety. The argument assumes that sugar does not have the same effect on the brain. There is no evidence stated to support this assumption.
In a similar vein, the argument states that sugar consumption after 45 minutes of exercise enhaces fat burning ability. The argument assumes that aspartame does not have the same effect. Again, there is no evidence stated to support this assumption.
In addition to the above assumptions, the argument also assumes that there are no other benefits from consuming aspartame and that there are no harmful effects from consuming sugar. The argument can be strengthened by providing evidences that support these assumptions. On the other hand, the argument can be weakened by providing evidences that disprove the assumption.
In conclusion, the argument is well made with related evidences to the argument at hand. But the argument still has flaws due to the various assumptions and can be strengthened by providing appropriate evidences, which support the assumptions.