Please rate this argument - “In a recent citywide poll, 15 percent more residents "

[gulliver_ind]

The following appeared in a memorandum issued by a large city’s council on the arts:
“In a recent citywide poll, 15 percent more residents said that they watch television programs about the visual arts than was the case in a poll conducted five years ago. During these past five years, the number of people visiting our city’s art museums has increased by a similar percentage. Since the corporate funding that supports public television, where most of the visual arts programs appear, is now being threatened with severe cuts, we can expect that attendance at our city’s art museums will also start to decrease. Thus some of the city’s funds for supporting the arts should be reallocated to public television.” Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.


Argument given states that since the precentate of people watching visual arts programs has increased by 15% , TV had influenced people to visit city’s art museum and there by the similar percentage increase in visitors to museum was recorded. As public TV’s funds will be scarce with reduction in corportate funding, part of city’s funds for supporting the arts should be given to public TV. This argument is not convincing as it has many questionable assumptions and has not stated all the facts in detail. In below paragraphs the same are illustrated.

First, argument is having following fallacies:
1) Argument states number of people watch television programs pertaining to visual arts has increased. But, it does not state whether all these programs are shown on public TV. It could be highly possible that people might be watching a private channel dedicated to visual arts instead of public TV programs.
2) Argument owes the increase in number of people visiting museums to increase in viewership of TV programs. But, during past 5 years, museums could have arranged exhibitions of famous artists and that could have attracted many visitors. Statement does not give any verifiable evidence to confirm that reason for increase in visitors to museums is TV programs

Statement would have been more convincing , had the statement established a direct co-relation between the increase in viewership of visual arts’ programs and number of visitors. A survey of visitors to the museums like what motivated them to come to museum, which program has motivated to them come to museum, and on which channel that programe is aired would have been more convincing to conclude that re-allocating funds to public TV would surely increase or maintain the number of visitors to the museums.

Argument has fallacies like it fails to provide statistics/survey findings etc to convince that TV programs are the reason behind the increase in viewership and the all those TV programs are shown on public TV.
So, I am not fully convinced with the proposal made in argument that re-allocating funds to public TV program would increase the number of visitors to museums.

[chimerical]

Say something like "The council argues that..." instead of "Argument given states that..."

No numbered lists!! Everything should be in paragraph form.

Lots of awkward phrasing. "Argument is having" should be changed to "The argument has." The sentence starting with "In below paragraphs" should be eliminated completely.

Those are just the first things that jumped out at me upon scanning your essay. Your critique is decent, albeit less detailed than it could be, but the writing itself needs a lot of work. The overall impression I get is that you used a template, because it's very mechanical in a "fill in the blanks" kind of way. You'll need to make it more sophisticated if you want a good score.