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ps36363 · 2009 September 24th, 06:46 PM

Hi All,

Kindly share your feedback on my essay.

“Location has traditionally been one of the most important determinants of a business’s success. The importance of location is not likely to change, no matter how advanced the development of computer communications and others kinds of technology becomes.”
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

The above issue asserts that the success of a business is determined by its location and the advanced technologies and computer networks can not undermine the importance of location. I feel in this era of comupter and intenet,location is hardly a factor in determining the success of a business.The following paragraphs will support my stance.

First, the success of a business depends upon the sales of its commodity and the market size it can capture. With the internet reaching most of the houses across the world, companies have started selling their products online.By just making few clicks of a mouse, now anyone can purchase a book or a laptop or any commodity. For example E-bay and Amazon are well known online shopping stores and generate a huge revenue without having a physical store to sell things.

Second, People save a lot of time when they purchase things online. Buying things by physically going to a store,consumes significant amount of time and no one wants to stand in queue and wait for their turn to pay. Now anyone can order a pizza by dialing a number and the pizza will be delivered at his door.

Third, The advent of technology has changed the traditional way of selling things. Now most of the companies,which offer products, have a website and anyone across the globe can purchase things using their website.These companies have penetrated most of the houeshold through internet and telecom and increased there revenues by manifold.

In sum, the success of a business is no longer dependent on location.Under the evidences of the factors discussesd above, Internet and computer technology are the determining factors which make a business successful.y

vinayakdl · 2009 September 25th, 02:16 AM

I am no expert but feel that the essay could be a little longer. Add 2 more sentences to each para...overall good substance...

Vinayak

ps36363 · 2009 September 25th, 08:26 AM

Hi Vinayak,

Thanks for those encouraging words. I just neeed more that 4.5 in AWA. would this essay be good enough to fetch 4.5.

Suggestion from others can make me improve my writing skills.

2009 September 24th, 06:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
ps36363 PMAT vs GMAT Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 116	An effort towards Issue-my first Issue AWA. Hi All, Kindly share your feedback on my essay. “Location has traditionally been one of the most important determinants of a business’s success. The importance of location is not likely to change, no matter how advanced the development of computer communications and others kinds of technology becomes.” Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading. The above issue asserts that the success of a business is determined by its location and the advanced technologies and computer networks can not undermine the importance of location. I feel in this era of comupter and intenet,location is hardly a factor in determining the success of a business.The following paragraphs will support my stance. First, the success of a business depends upon the sales of its commodity and the market size it can capture. With the internet reaching most of the houses across the world, companies have started selling their products online.By just making few clicks of a mouse, now anyone can purchase a book or a laptop or any commodity. For example E-bay and Amazon are well known online shopping stores and generate a huge revenue without having a physical store to sell things. Second, People save a lot of time when they purchase things online. Buying things by physically going to a store,consumes significant amount of time and no one wants to stand in queue and wait for their turn to pay. Now anyone can order a pizza by dialing a number and the pizza will be delivered at his door. Third, The advent of technology has changed the traditional way of selling things. Now most of the companies,which offer products, have a website and anyone across the globe can purchase things using their website.These companies have penetrated most of the houeshold through internet and telecom and increased there revenues by manifold. In sum, the success of a business is no longer dependent on location.Under the evidences of the factors discussesd above, Internet and computer technology are the determining factors which make a business successful.y _ _ _ _ SIG _ _ _ _ Thanks, PS.

2009 September 25th, 02:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
vinayakdl Within my grasp! Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 165	I am no expert but feel that the essay could be a little longer. Add 2 more sentences to each para...overall good substance... Vinayak _ _ _ _ SIG _ _ _ _ What one man can do another can do.

2009 September 25th, 08:26 AM	#3 (permalink)
ps36363 PMAT vs GMAT Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 116	Hi Vinayak, Thanks for those encouraging words. I just neeed more that 4.5 in AWA. would this essay be good enough to fetch 4.5. Suggestion from others can make me improve my writing skills. _ _ _ _ SIG _ _ _ _ Thanks, PS.

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