I'll rate your essay if you rate mine (PLEASE)

[lmwestfa]

Issue: "A true university education encompasses far more than the narrow, specialized study of a single discipline. Only through exploring the broad spectrum of liberal arts courses can students become truly learned."



A common complaint of college students surrounds the thirty-two liberal arts credits necessary for graduation at the local university. Nearly all of them find it difficult to see the benefit of a global approach to education when the students’ stated preference is for the specified field listed on their admission application. If the university serves its duty to the student body, each would concur, upon graduation, that both specialized and universal study is necessary for students to become learned.



Specialized study permits an in-depth focus and research. It is in this way, we can build upon the work of learners who came before us. There is sort of a generational collaboration; the only way minds can interact posthumously. Through years of devotion to a specific topic, students can examine intricacies and nuances particular to that area. Many undergraduates take a psychology course which introduces them to the gamut of theories over the course of four months. The work of Sigmund Freud usually is incorporated in most first-year psychology texts. A cursory survey of the information presented on his work screams of unfounded sexual innuendo and completely overshadows his pioneering efforts in a major arm of therapy: psychodynamic perspective. Unfortunately, most students will learn the basic tenets of his scholarship dealing with sex and lascivious interpretations of dreams. Without continued attention to psychology, students will remain with a rudimentary understanding of the field. There would be no foundation to support or refute what we believe to be true; as a learned society, we would stagnate.



Paradoxically, we must guard against becoming so enveloped in one field that others are ignored. Having a well-rounded education can result in a broad exposure to a variety of disciplines and promotes integration of them. Such collaboration can contribute greatly to the research in other fields. In recent years, psychology and biology have launched a symbiotic partnership. The work of one of Biology’s famed researchers, Charles Darwin, is being applied to psychology. It has launched the field of evolutionary psychology which process and contemplates human behavior through the lens of evolution. Since its inception, it has aided both psychology and biology researchers in mutual evaluation of each other’s research. The more biological examples that are applied to test the validity of psychological research, serves to strengthen psychology as a whole.



Perhaps, it is the variety of a liberal arts program that is so appealing. It provides the backdrop for critical thinking through its diversity. Critical thinking affords a student the chance at improving his or her method of study. However, it is paramount that attention and required university credit be awarded to broad and specialized study. We cannot have one without the other.


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This was my first. I wrote it in the time limit. Please tear it apart.
TIA

[ShalomFang]

In general, I felt a little obscure when I was reading your essay( maybe that is because English is not my native language ). The following are some examples. Don't take them too seriously!
If the university serves its duty to the student body, each would concur, upon graduation(Necessary?The topic doesn't lay emphasis on graduation.), that both specialized and universal study is necessary for students to become learned.

It is in this way, we can build upon the work of learners who came before us.( Delete comma + "that" , joint them together?)

Paradoxically( Are you sure?), we must guard against becoming so enveloped in one field that others are ignored.

The work of one of Biology’s famed researchers( Make it more fluent?The work of a famed biological researcher?), Charles Darwin, is being applied to psychology.