Please comment on my AWA. “Nations should cooperate to develop..."

[profetize]

“Nations should cooperate to develop regulations that limit children’s access to adult material on the Internet”

Should governments be responsible for regulating what children may or may not access on the Internet? Or would it just be another kind of censorship? I believe that, although in cooperation with parents, they have a part to play in this matter and are indeed responsible for developing the legal context to regulate children’s access to this kind of material.

Firstly, the access to adult material by children can be used as bait to paedophile attacks. One can certainly imagine a situation in which a child has access to an adult site, starts to interact with other users of the site and ends up meeting them in real life. There’s no doubt that this is an undesirable outcome and that it will expose the child to a situation that is beyond what she is mentally prepared to handle.

Also, due to the child mental state of development, she is not ready to fully understand the context of certain types of adult material. Pornographic and sexual material may be misinterpreted by the infant and may have an impact on her development. There is a need to protect the child from this kind of psychological impact.

One can argue, and not without merit, that this protection must come from her parents. But in modern society parents are unable to be permanently present. Therefore, it’s imperative that governments legislate in order to force owners of adult oriented Internet sites to restrict children’s access to their sites.

I strongly believe that, in this matter, one can not apply the right to free access to information. Since children are not yet fully mentally developed, they must be limited in kind of information that they are allowed to access. Parents have to accept they’re part but also do governments.

Thank you for your time.

[moni77]

I think that you used strong examples. I like it because is concise and clear. Your essay has some grammatical mistakes. I just started to study for AWA so it might be that my critique is not what you might expect.

One thing that I noticed is that you use hypothetical examples. I read somewhere that you should try too avoid these examples, try to use real examples. Instead of writing "one's child...." write "my sister's child...." or "my child". Put examples from your life.