Analysis of Argument

[aki]

Hello again!

This is my other essay on the argument part... I would be really grateful if anyone could provide me with some feedback. I am a native French speaker so I may make a lot of mistakes!!

Cheers,
Aki





Essay starts here:



Travelshack.com concludes that seen the success of its website, any vacation resort company willing to attract more customers and willing to increase profits cannot afford not to publicize on its website. However, the conclusion relies on vague arguments and the specific example provided does not provide enough evidence.



First of all, the writer assumes that a doubling in readership, mainly composed of wealthy people, results in more sales for its customers. In fact, the people registering on Travelshack.com may be doing so in order to get access to articles and news, which would in return help these clients make up their mind and book their holidays with other companies. Therefore it seems that a stronger link is missing. The argument that an increased readership is equal to more sales would be strengthened if the ad provided evidence such as statistics comparing the ratio of newly registered people to the purchases.



In addition, throughout the ad, the text remains vague and does not mention at all some real figures. The reader cannot sense the increase as the ad remains unclear whether the threefold increase is starting from 1 dollar or from 1 million dollars. The proportions are not the same. Therefore, a comparison between previous year’s figures and the newly achieved results would considerably strengthen the argument and convince the reader that the facts are concrete.



Finally, the advertisement assumes that any holiday resort can replicate Snowbert Ski Lodge’s success story. Knowing that today’s competitive world is full of stories reflecting both, success and failure stories, the reader would know not to base its judgement solely on one example. Only if Travelshack.com provides evidence that any company advertising on it website enjoys substantial benefits, does the argument hold.

[reactor]

I would like to provide some feedback but I don't know the initial question.

[aki]

sorry i must have made an error during my copy paste operation....

if you don't mind, do not hesitate to provide feedback on the other essay I posted.... I will send the question tomorrow as it's in my office. Many thanks in advance.

Cheers
Aki

[aki]

Here is the full version again! I look forward to getting your feedback!

Thanks in advance!
Aki


The following appeared in the advertising literature of Travelshack.com, an online magazine and vacation resort catalogue.



“Your vacation resort can ill afford not to publicize its offerings on Travelshack.com. Our readership has more than doubled in the past year alone and is dominated by savvy consumers with large disposable incomes. Witness the experience of Snowbert Ski lodge. Since it began advertising itself on our Website a year ago, it is regularly booked to capacity and its annual profits have increased more than threefold from the previous year.”



Explain how logically persuasive you find this argument. In discussing your viewpoint, analyze the argument’s line of reasoning and its use of evidence. Also explain what, if anything, would make the argument more valid and convincing or help you to better evaluate its conclusion.





Essay starts here:



Travelshack.com concludes that seen the success of its website, any vacation resort company willing to attract more customers and willing to increase profits cannot afford not to publicize on its website. However, the conclusion relies on vague arguments and the specific example provided does not provide enough evidence.



First of all, the writer assumes that a doubling in readership, mainly composed of wealthy people, results in more sales for its customers. In fact, the people registering on Travelshack.com may be doing so in order to get access to articles and news, which would in return help these clients make up their mind and book their holidays with other companies. Therefore it seems that a stronger link is missing. The argument that an increased readership is equal to more sales would be strengthened if the ad provided evidence such as statistics comparing the ratio of newly registered people to the purchases.



In addition, throughout the ad, the text remains vague and does not mention at all some real figures. The reader cannot sense the increase as the ad remains unclear whether the threefold increase is starting from 1 dollar or from 1 million dollars. The proportions are not the same. Therefore, a comparison between previous year’s figures and the newly achieved results would considerably strengthen the argument and convince the reader that the facts are concrete.



Finally, the advertisement assumes that any holiday resort can replicate Snowbert Ski Lodge’s success story. Knowing that today’s competitive world is full of stories reflecting both, success and failure stories, the reader would know not to base its judgement solely on one example. Only if Travelshack.com provides evidence that any company advertising on it website enjoys substantial benefits, does the argument hold.

[gurdip79]

hi aki

one thing more u can strees is that author only talks about wealthier people so writer does nor consider about the middle class people
why?
u can say that it may be offering costly holiday options
more over snowbert ski may be new one so the author shud study changes in any resort comparing stats of booking before and after they began advertising on site
so i wrote this in hurry
overall points u picked were very nice i can say

[GJJuggernaut]

May i suggest that you should try to lay your hands on the GMAT prep material from American Education Aids. The American Education Aids material is simply superb as it trains you in two ways: builds thy foundation first and second, gives you hundreds and hundreds of practice questions. That too, questions taken from past GMAT PBTs. I'd refered to this material the first time while still in college in 1998 and scored a 680 and used the revised material again this year to score a 720.

The material also contains over 100 argument and issue essays, which really help you structure your own essays. Just for the record, my AWA score is 5.5. Lastly the material also includes the Powerprep CD.

Cheers
Gagan