Negotiating with Grad Schools --- Will come only if you let my SO come along?

[misty_morning]

Dear TM-denizens,
I am in an interesting situation. Got admitted to a decent enough Econ program which incidently also happens to host the department where my wife wants to get her PhD. Sad part is, she got her rejection today.

I am kind of familiar with the idea of going on the job market "jointly" with one's spouse but I am trying to think if this concept can be extended to grad schools. I know I know. Going for a job and goign as a funded student are separate issues and this does sound a bit far fetched but I am quite desperate. Moreover, I feel like I should at least take a shot in the dark than regret not having tried at all.

So here's the question: If this Econ depatment is quite keen on having me (and that I can tell through conversation I've had with a few faculty there), will it be "proper" for me to put forth my spouse's admission to the other department (which by the way, rejected her not because deficiencies in her preparation for a PhD but because of lack of funds without which she'd indicated she wouldn't go) as a condition for me to enroll?

Just wanted to test this idea here before taking it up.

Thanks.

[PCG]

Why are you worried if it's proper? If you won't go without her, then you have nothing to lose if you ask. Don't worry so much about etiquite and be more concerned about being straight-forward about the situation. Discuss it with your dept. AND have your wife discuss it with her potential Dept.

Incidentally, I'm in a similar situation. I got a good offer, but I'm waiting to see where my wife matches for medical residency. Unfortunately, my situation though has less flexibility thanks to the nature of the residency market.

[Freethinker]

I agree with PCG, etiquette gets you nowhere in this particular situation. It's best to try, especially if it's a funding issue.

Best of luck!

[associate]

I would say to go for it. I have a friend who got into an excellent engineering PhD program, and when he asked about job prospects for his then-girlfriend, they asked for her resume and offered her admission to another program at the university which was a good fit for her. She just had to sign up for and take the gre (she hadn't even been applying to grad schools), but was guaranteed admission.

Why not just explain the situation to the dept.: You really like their program, but naturally, your wife will be a factor in the decision as well. If work visas factor in, explain that too. If they can't admit her to the PhD, maybe they can fund her for a year for a master's that could lead to PhD or do something else.

[scooby_doo]

I agree with the others who said you should go for it. Before you call, though, you might want to think about any compromises you and your SO might be willing to make. For instance, what if your SO were allowed to take classes or enroll in an MA program with the expectation that if she performed well, she could enroll in the PhD program in Fall 2007?

Professional school experience probably doesn't apply much, but in college I had a friend who legged her fiance into an elite law school. He was basically a slacker with a big stipend from a history PhD program who got tired of his studies and decided to follow his undergrad fiancee to law school. She must have been very competitive, because when the dean called her, he quickly asked what he could do to bring her to his school. She didn't hesitate. He got in.