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I JUST got here.
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 22
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Please rate my essay
From a letter to the editor of a city newspaper.
"One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with their own academic performance. As a way of combating these problems, the high schools in our city should begin classes at 8:30 A.M. instead of 7:30 A.M., and end the school day an hour later. This arrangement will give students an extra hour of sleep in the morning, thereby making them more alert and more productive. Consequently, the students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly." The writer proposed to change the school hours in high schools with the aim of increasing the productivity of students. He made this argument based on two research study results, which indicate that many adolescents need more sleep and many high school students are dissatisfied with own academic, respectively. The writer's suggestion, although with good intention, suffers from a number of flaws. First, the writer has made a mistake on relating the two research study results. These two studies are two individual studies and therefore, it is wrong to link the result of one study to another. In fact, the second study result did not indicate what reasons contribute to the dissatisfaction of academic performance. A number of reasons may attribute to this, such as peer pressure, lack of studying, which sleeping pattern may not play a role in this scenario. In addition, the writer did not provide any information of how the studies are conducted and their sample sizes. Furthermore, given the results are verified, the writer cannot assume the research sample represents the adolescents group in his city. Second, the writer assumed that changing the school hours from 7:30 to 8:30 will provide an extra hour of sleep for the high school students. This argument is not true. With the school starting an hour late, high school student may go to bed an hour late as well. There is no evidence to prove that the high school students will remain their usual sleeping pattern when the school changes their operation hours. High school students may even go to bed later when they notice the school starting late and this may not help them to be more alert and more productive. Third, the writer assumed that with more sleeping time, the high school students will perform better on tests and their academics will improve significantly. This argument suffered from a huge flaw. Increasing sleeping time may improve the health of the high school student; however, it may not necessarily help their academic performance. Academic performances are linked to the hours of time spent in studying and the amount of concentration focused in class; however, increasing sleeping time alone will not help to improve student performances. It is a combination of several factors to yield the positive result. In sum, the writer failed to make a valid argument. He has mistakenly linking two individual study result to one another, has made assumption of the behaviour of high school students and has neglected the fact that the improvement of academic performance comes from a combination of factors. Given all the above reasons, this argument is rejected. Had the writer taken the above factors in views, it would have been rendered this argument irrefutable. |
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