could someone rate this for me. it is my first ever attempt

[flavian]

ill be writing my gre in 5 days time. this is my 1st ever awa attempt and i would appreciate any feedback ...suggestions needed...and possible score
thanks


A recent study suggests that people who are left-handed are more likely to succeed in business than are right-handed people. Researchers studied photographs of 1,000 prominent business executives and found that 21 percent of these executives wrote with their left hand. So the percentage of prominent business executives who are left-handed (21 percent) is almost twice the percentage of people in the general population who are left-handed (11 percent). Thus, people who are left-handed would be well advised to pursue a career in business, whereas people who are right-handed would be well advised to imitate the business practices exhibited by left-handers.

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The author seems to base her opinion that right handed business execs are not as successful as the left handed business execs on data and information that is debatable in nature as a result of which her conclusion seems unsubstantiated .
The first flaw in the data that is used as the basis to reach the conclusion that left handed business executives are more successful than their right handed counterparts is that the number of subjects studied by the researchers seems too small when compared to the number of people in the general population. If more business execs were involved in the sample space of this study then we probably could see that the number of business execs that are left handed and the number of left handed people in the gentlemen in the general population would have had a closer numerical value as the influx of more right handed execs would due to the increase in the sample space would even the figures.
The other concern with regard to the data is the method or procedure used to determine data. How did the researchers determine if the business execs were right or left handed is not clear. Such facts are not reaily available so what data was made use of to determine if the exec was left or right handed. The internet for example , if used , is not the most reliable place from where data can be attained.
There are also a number of cases where people who are left handed switch to using their right hand and vice versa. There are cases where people are more comfortable using their right hand for all tasks but use their left for a few others. Then there is a group of people who can use either hand to write. The classification and grouping of such people in both the general population and in the sample space is debatable.
Being a business exec is one thing but being a successful business exec is a different matter altogether, If the sample space was further refined on basis of turnover and profits for each group we might see a different result altogether from that which the author states and would help support the fact that right handed business execs are more adept at their job than the left handed execs.
The age and experience of the business execs should be taken into account too, an older and more experienced business exec certainly has the luxury of time to reverse all the bad decisions that a younger inexperienced business executive would make.
The educational qualification of a business exec also would have a great say in the matter. There is a possibility that the business execs that tend to use their left hand are coincidentally more educated than their right handed counterparts due to the limited number of people taken into consideration.
Hence,it would be folly to make a decision on whether to pursue a career in business on the basis of whether the person is left handed or right handed based on this data alone. The author should use more comprehensive and detailed data to support her case.