Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: plz grade this!! The school board of the Shadow valley unified school (SVUS) district

  1. #1
    Eager!
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    INDIA
    Posts
    59
    Rep Power
    8


    Good post? Yes | No

    plz grade this!! The school board of the Shadow valley unified school (SVUS) district

    The school board of the Shadow valley unified school (SVUS) district included these remarks in a letter sent to the families of all students attending school in the district.



    Over the past few years, an increase in disciplinary problems and a high drop out rate have plagued district schools. The Ash lake school district to our north adopted a mandatory uniform policy three years ago. Since that time, suspensions and expulsions in Ash Lake have fallen by 40%, while the mean grade has increased from 2.3 (C+) to 2.7(B-). In order to improve the discipline and academic performance of shadow valley students, we have adopted a mandatory uniform policy effective on the first day of the new school year.





    Ash lake district school may have witnessed better discipline and improvement in grades but the author of this article makes certain unsubstantiated assumption about the attributes that let this condition happen. Based on these assumptions the author takes the decision of adopting mandatory school uniform. Though it is intended to achieve greater discipline and better grades in the school these may fail to achieve the desired results because of some intrinsic fallacies.







    I would like to critic the author, averring that by simply changing the uniform one cannot come to the conclusion that the discipline as well as the grades of the student improved. This statement seems to be specious in the first sight and the remarks given by the author look unsubstantiated. The reason for the better discipline can be attributed to many other reasons. One such reason may be that a new principal has come to the school and he is a stickler for discipline. So students play fewer pranks on each other or abstain from other mischiefs. Other reason may be that a new policy may have been adopted by the school administration according to which if a student was suspended from the school then he won’t be admitted back to school. This fear of expulsion has created more discipline in the college. Another point is that three-year is not sufficient enough time to come to a conclusion that a change in uniform led to better discipline. The association of dress with discipline seems vague.



    The other fallacy in the author’s statement is that he relates dress with grades but it is not substantiated. How can one relate dress with grades when they are entirely different aspects? It may be that the school made a new policy according to which easy papers were set up so as to give a name to the school or a new lenient grading policy was implemented. It may also be that students were given much homework or there parents paid extra attention that led to better grades of students.



    Other statement that seems to be ambiguous is the use of the term “mean grade point average” rising from 2.3(c+) to 2.7(B-). The use of “mean” here is specious because mean is the average of the class so it cannot be the progress of individual student. It may be that some students were doing very well and the others were doing poorly. It may also be that the students themselves developed a sense of responsibility and so abstained from mischiefs and paid more attention to studies in order to excel academically.



    So the steps taken by SVUS school board seems to be inadequate and if the school administration really want to ameliorate the discipline and the grades of the students they should delve into the matter genuinely and gather the real causes which led to the change.










  2. #2
    Eager!
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    33
    Rep Power
    9


    Good post? Yes | No
    well for starters i would say that your essay although comprises of good vocab but has a number of grammatical errors. you have also not developed much upon the points which u state. most of them redundent and are really underdevloped. the reasoning which you have given does not seem to satisfy me at least .
    i do not mean to discourage u but overall i do not find this argument very convincing.
    what i would suggest u is that u read all the argument topics posted by other members on the forum so that u can really understand what u need to work upon.

  3. #3
    Eager!
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    INDIA
    Posts
    59
    Rep Power
    8


    Good post? Yes | No
    thx arpit for the true words.... i'll certainly improve by readin wat is lackin in mine and wat needs to b improved upon.. thx again

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. The school board ruling
    By singmah1 in forum GMAT Sentence Correction
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-15-2007, 05:49 AM
  2. The local school board
    By humtum0 in forum GMAT Sentence Correction
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 09-26-2007, 06:47 PM
  3. School Board
    By Da_Gr8_Mperor in forum GMAT Sentence Correction
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 07-23-2006, 01:24 AM
  4. 235 Solano school district should do away u
    By chinuochinu in forum GRE Analysis of an Argument
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-12-2003, 03:23 AM
  5. 236 The Solano school district should do
    By milanjoshi in forum GRE Analysis of an Argument
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-03-2003, 09:30 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2010, Crawlability, Inc.