Please review it

**ruchia** · 07-01-2008, 09:22 PM

The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth of her salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grant has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research ability, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."

Citing that Professor Thomas has the largest class size and that in the last 2 years she has brought research grants that exceeded her salary, the author of the report concludes that she should receive a raise and a promotion. Moreover, the author fears that without such an appreciation for professor’s effort, she might leave the university. The argument, in my opinion, makes some assumptions and is based on very little evidence; therefore it is unconvincing as it stands.

Firstly, the author of the report states that Professor Thomas has the largest class size and relates it to the popularity of the professor amongst the students. Perhaps, the students take her course because she is very lenient in grading or may be she is always busy in her research that students get lectures off. So it might be true that she is popular but for other reasons. The author of the report should try to find out the reasons for her popularity.

Secondly, the author states that she has brought research grant to the university. The author should provide some evidence here that it was her efforts that brought the grants to the university. Perhaps some other professors were also involved in the research. The grants are usually allotted by fields of study. So perhaps there is not much research going on in botany in other research centers that grants were made available to the Elm City University. So perhaps it has nothing to do with her efforts. Hence, the author of the report should try to find out how many research institutes applied for the grant and why was the grant allotted to the Elm City University.

Moreover, the author does not provide names of other professors who were considered for this appreciation and why Professor Thomas was chosen over them. Also, the author of the report fears that if Professor Thomas was not given this appreciation, she might leave the Elm City University. This seems to be a mere assumption. There is no evidence that some other university or research institute would provide more appreciation for her efforts. Also, since she has served the university for last 17 years, she might consider herself to be worthy of more recognition. Hence, the author should try to find out the industry standard compensation for a person so experienced.

Hence, the author can strengthen the argument by providing evidence for the assumptions. He/she should try to conduct a survey that why do students take Professor Thomas' class. Also, the author should try to find out how many research organizations applied for the research grant and who all is involved in the research with Professor Thomas. Lastly, if all this information proves that Professor Thomas is really worthy of such an appreciation, then in order to retain her in the university, the author should try to find the industry standard compensation for a person experienced like her.

**maple_leaf** · 07-01-2008, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by ruchia

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Perhaps, the students take her course because she is very lenient in grading or may be she is always busy in her research that students get lectures off (what does "get lectures off exactly mean"?) So it might be true that she is popular but for other reasons. The author of the report should try to find out the reasons for her popularity. ---> very good paragraph.

Secondly, the author states that she has brought research grant to the university. The author should provide some evidence here that it was her efforts that brought the grants to the university. Perhaps some other professors were also involved in the research. The grants are usually allotted by fields of study. So perhaps there is not much research going on in botany in other research centers that grants were made available to the Elm City University. So perhaps it has nothing to do with her efforts. Hence, the author of the report should try to find out how many research institutes applied for the grant and why was the grant allotted to the Elm City University. --> Use some other word/phrase instead of perhaps. Supposedly we should not use the same word more than once in one paragraph. Your points in this paragraph are clear and precise.

Moreover, the author does not provide names of other professors who were considered for this appreciation and why Professor Thomas was chosen over them. Also, the author of the report fears that if Professor Thomas was not given this appreciation, she might leave the Elm City University. This seems to be a mere assumption. There is no evidence that some other university or research institute would provide more appreciation for her efforts. Also, since she has served the university for last 17 years, she might consider herself to be worthy of more recognition. Hence, the author should try to find out the industry standard compensation for a person so experienced.

Hence, the author can strengthen the argument by providing evidence for the assumptions. He/she should try to conduct a survey that why do students take Professor Thomas' class ( If you rephrase it like " He/she should conduct a survey to find out why so many students take Professor Thomas's class" , it might sound better). Also, the author should try to find out how many research organizations applied for the research grant and who all is involved in the research with Professor Thomas. Lastly, if all this information proves that Professor Thomas is really worthy of such an appreciation, then in order to retain her in the university, the author should try to find the industry standard compensation for a person experienced like her.

Overall very good essay

**ruchia** · 07-02-2008, 12:31 AM

hey thanks a lot. I noticed the overuse of the word "perhaps". Its looking so odd. i ll take care of it.

Thanks again..

**Jeanette** · 07-02-2008, 01:41 AM

This is an excellent essay! It flows smoothly and I think it covers the flaws in the arguments very well. The only arguments I would add is that maybe her class is popular because botany is a required course for certain majors, or maybe the university has few lecturers in botany resulting in larger class size. Also you mentioned the industry standard, so we should also find out the university standard for allocating grant money in botany. Maybe $60,000 in grants is not a large sum compared to what other botany departments get; maybe it's even on the low side and it shows that Professor Thomas is not on the ball in getting grant money.

Very good points about considering the contributions of other professors in bringing grant money to the university; it's not one of the arguments I thought of when I first read the topic.