Argument 01: Please review it

[ruchia]

A recent study shows that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia. Interestingly, Asians, on average, eat 20 grams of soy per day, whereas North Americans eat virtually none. It turns out that soy contains phytochemicals called isoflavones, which have been found to possess disease-preventing properties. Thus, North Americans should consider eating soy on a regular basis as a way of preventing fatigue and depression.
Citing that Asians consume Soy and hence suffer less fatigue and depression as opposed to Americans, the author here concludes that Americans should also consume Soy. The author quotes that Soy possesses disease preventing properties and hence would help prevent fatigue and depression. The author here makes some assumptions and provides very little evidence to support it; therefore the argument is unconvincing as it stands.

Firstly, the author states that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia. However, the author does not provide any information whether the people in the two regions were living in similar conditions. Perhaps North Americans could be living alone and hence suffering from loneliness leading to depression. On the other hand, Asians could be living with their family and hence do not experience depression. Hence, the author should make sure that the people studied in the two groups are living in similar conditions.

Secondly, given that the two groups are living in similar conditions, the author relates less fatigue and depression of Asians with their consumption of Soy. However, in order to strengthen this argument, the author should also provide some information of diets of the two groups. It may be the case that there are some other ingredients in diet of Asians that prevent fatigue and depression.

Moreover, the author cites that the Asians consume Soy whereas the Americans do not. The author states that Soy contains isoflavones, which have been found to possess disease-preventing properties. The author’s assumption that disease preventing properties of isoflavones would prevent people from experiencing fatigue and depression does not seem to be reasonable. The author should support this with evidence from a health expert.

Hence, to me the argument seems to be based on assumptions and the author needs to provide some evidence in order to strengthen the argument. The author should provide some data on the living conditions and eating habits of the two groups. Also, the author should support the argument with the evidence from a health expert that disease preventing properties of isoflvones will prevent fatigue and depression as well.

[maple_leaf]

Hey Ruchia,
I have read 3/4 essays of yours. And I think this one is the best one.

• I liked the organization of the essay
• I think your arguments are very strong.
• In the second paragraph, you may want to add that.....may be North Americans work much more than Asians and the hectic life style may be one of the reasons of fatigue.

[ruchia]

hey thanks... I agree that is a good point.
I think arguments are coming along well.. but issue essay .. I dont know.. yesterday I picked up two topics and could nt compose on either of them..

[Jeanette]

Yes, I agree with Maple. You are very strong in the argument essay. Now you just need to work on the Issue essay.

[ruchia]

Thanks... Issue essay and verbal..
and.. good luck for your exam Jeanette! do well.