hello, I am a student from China, please give your comment on this arument#28

[downstair]

TOPIC: ARGUMENT28 - The following is a memo from the superintendent of the Mylar school district.

"A recent six-month study, in which breakfast was made available at school for 100 schoolchildren ages five to twelve, found that children on the breakfast plan were less likely than other children to be absent from or late for school. Clearly, eating breakfast before school plays a role in reducing student absenteeism and tardiness. It is also well known that children who regularly eat a healthful breakfast tend to perform better in school. Therefore, in order to reduce absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance in all of Mylar's elementary and secondary schools, we should provide breakfasts for all students before each school day."

The author of this argument recommends that in order to reduce absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance in all of Mylar's elementary and secondary schools, we should provide for all students before each school day. To support the recommendation, the author presents some reasons. I find the argument is not convincing in some aspects.

To begin with, the author points out that a recent six-month study, in which breakfast was made available at school for 100 schoolchildren ages five to twelve, found that children on the breakfast plan were less likely than other children to be absent from or late for school. Then, the author thinks that eating breakfast before school plays a role in reducing student absenteeism and tardiness. First, the author overlook the family about these 100 schoolchildren may be is not far than the other students. So, these 100 children can get school or get the school early. Second, the weather may be not so good for the other children to get school or get school at time. It is possible that the recent six-month weather situation in the Mylar district is rain or heavy snow or other bad weather. In additional, there are no evidence that we can judge these children who are absent or late for school are not eating breakfast. So, the author cannot get the conclusion that eating breakfast before school plays a role in reducing student absenteeism and tardiness.

Then, the author says that it is well known that children who regularly eat a healthful breakfast tend to perform better in school. It is no proof can prove that the author's statement is reasonable and credible. Eating healthful breakfast may not have the relation to the performance in school. Even if we suppose eating healthful breakfast has some relation to the performance in school, we also cannot accept the author's suggestion. The author ignore that the possibility that the breakfast for all students may be not healthful. So, it is also cannot reduce the absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance. Even if we suppose school can provide the healthful breakfast, the expense of this plan is very huge. The schools may not be able to afford this plan.

In conclusion, the author cannot give the sound reason to support his suggestion. He or she should do more research about the relation about the breakfast and the absenteeism, tardiness.

[ruchia]

Originally Posted by downstair

TOPIC: ARGUMENT28 - The following is a memo from the superintendent of the Mylar school district.

"A recent six-month study, in which breakfast was made available at school for 100 schoolchildren ages five to twelve, found that children on the breakfast plan were less likely than other children to be absent from or late for school. Clearly, eating breakfast before school plays a role in reducing student absenteeism and tardiness. It is also well known that children who regularly eat a healthful breakfast tend to perform better in school. Therefore, in order to reduce absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance in all of Mylar's elementary and secondary schools, we should provide breakfasts for all students before each school day."

The author of this argument recommends that in order to reduce absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance in all of Mylar's elementary and secondary schools, we should provide for all students before each school day. To support the recommendation, the author presents some reasons. I find the argument is not convincing in some aspects.

To begin with, the author points out that a recent six-month study, in which breakfast was made available at school for 100 schoolchildren ages five to twelve, found that children on the breakfast plan were less likely than other children to be absent from or late for school. Then, the author thinks that eating breakfast before school plays a role in reducing student absenteeism and tardiness. First, the author overlook the family about these 100 schoolchildren may be is not far than the other students. So, these 100 children can get school or get the school early. Second, the weather may be not so good for the other children to get school or get school at time. It is possible that the recent six-month weather situation in the Mylar district is rain or heavy snow or other bad weather. In additional, there are no evidence that we can judge these children who are absent or late for school are not eating breakfast. So, the author cannot get the conclusion that eating breakfast before school plays a role in reducing student absenteeism and tardiness. you can add that - perhaps the students on the breakfast plan used to come to school regularly before the breakfast was served. hence the author should compare the statistics of these students with those when the breakfast was not served.

Then, the author says that it is well known that children who regularly eat a healthful breakfast tend to perform better in school. It there is no proof can prove that the author's statement is reasonable and credible. Eating healthful breakfast may not have the relation to the performance in school. perhaps the students who are not able to perform well, have good breakfast at home. Even if we suppose eating healthful breakfast has some relation to the performance in school, we also cannot accept the author's suggestion. again, the author should compare the results of the students on the breakfast plan with their before the plan was started. The author ignore that the possibility that the breakfast for all students may be not healthful. So, it is also cannot reduce the absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance. Even if we suppose school can provide the healthful breakfast, the expense of this plan is very huge.The schools may not be able to afford this plan. make this a new para and add that - perhaps the school should consider motivating students to have breakfast at home before coming to school.

In conclusion, the author cannot give the sound reason to support his suggestion. He or she should do more research about the relation about the breakfast and the absenteeism, tardiness.

overall good points - you need to work on your grammar. try to finish your essay in 25 minutes and save 5 minutes for re-reading your essay. it helps a lot. Good luck!

[downstair]

ruchia, thank you for your comment.it is very usful for me.
I will take the analytical test August 6th. so, please give me some advice during this period.
By the way, i am student from Nanjing, China. Nice to meet you, thanks for your comment again!