issue 170 tell me your understand about this issue, and help me rate it , Thx!

[Bernina]

Issue 170 “the surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientisets, but the general welfare of all its people.”

I marked the key words(only my opinion) by orange, I thought what the issue really want to talk about is the indicator of great nation but not how to be a great nation. I think we should judge but not give advices, am i right , what's in your mind? :)[clap]

 

What kind of nation can be considered a great one? What condisions should be satisfied in order to be a great nation? Dose a country who make everlasting contribution for human progress, whether in science or art, is good enough to deserve this honor or should be examined by the everage well-being of its citizen, as well? According to my appreciation, the truly sign of great nation not simply relies on the accomplishment of celebrities, such as governors, artists, and scientists, but also on whether it can gurantee a comfortable life to his citizen.

 

The necessarily fudamental feature for judging a nation great or not should be the average degree of society’s well-being. As individual is the essential and primarily element constitued a country, without satifying them, the country is hard to move forward, or even keep survivual, let along to be a great one. For instance, only when peple get the political freedom and equity, can society get rid of rebellion, and crate a sounding cricumstance for development; only a effective fanancial aid can fuction as a palcido for social potential risk brought by those who unemployment and helpless, can help society keep melody and unity; only a functioning medical care program can ensure mental and physical health of citizen who push the society forward, and only a compeleted education and training system can enlighten the local people and gain the long-term progress of society. These four sections of social welfare provide the foudition, possibility, resource and power for nation to progress to be a great one. But, is that good enough?

 

Obviously not, only welfare of people cannot serve as a full-ranged measuring standard for great nation, it should be also evaluated with the achievements which propell the whole human nature move forward in various fields such as politics, science and art, because only these contribution can gain deference to the nation from the people all of the world, can make the nation be written into the history and remembered by the human being. For example, United State destined to be a great nation when Martin Luther King made the speech named “I have a dream” and Abraham Lincoln successfully led the country through American Civil War, perserving union and ending slavery, enlighting the whole world with democracy and equity ; England is considered as a great nation partly for its Industry Revolusion which had accelerated the progress of technology for the frist time in history of human being; Italy can be called a great nation because it is the resource of Renaissance which inevitably spread all of the Europe and created countless artists in that period who have helped diversify human cultrure to a highest degree than ever before; I supossed no one would agrue that such country undeserve a great one.

 

Considering thoroughly we can find that these two necessarily elements of great nation’s indicator actually keeping a delicate relationship, that is interdependence and interpromotion. Lacking any one of them the indicator could not be a surest one. Social welfare make the maven’s research and success have the possibility, in turn, various accomplishments enrich the content of well-being of society. This is a positive recircle leading a nation to be great.

 

In sum, the most instructive indicator must be the combination of social well-being and various achievements in every academic fields, according to this indicator, any nation which want to be great must handling welfare and achievements properly, and finding a balance between them, accounting carefully how much money should be supplied to each of them, and changing flexibal oriented by world’s political and ecnomic climate.

[myshkin]

I like your approach to the topic: what conditions must be met by any nation that is called 'great'? Is x enough? Or do you also have to have y? The overall organization of your essay is good, as is the logical connection between sentences. It's also very long, which is essential for a high score (4-6, which is where you should be aiming). There were some issues diction and grammar, and in particular with spelling. After writing your practice essays, you might want to run them through a spell-checker and make a note of the the words that commonly give you trouble. Some suggestions:

What kind of nation can be considered a great one? What

conditions

should be satisfied

before a nation can be called great

?

Is

a country

that makes

everlasting

contributions to

human progress, whether in science or art,

automatically

good

enough to deserve this honor

,

or should

we

examine

the

average well-being of its

citizens as

well? According to my

sense of the issue

, the

does not depend only on

the accomplishment of celebrities, such as governors, artists, and scientists, but also on whether it can

guarantee

a comfortable life to

its citizens

.

 

The

necessary

,

fundamental

feature for judging a nation great or not should be the

average level of well-being in the society

. As individual is the essential and primarily element

constitued

a country, without

satifying

them, the country is hard to move forward, or even keep

survivual

, let along to be a great one. For instance, only when

peple

get the political freedom and equity, can society get rid of rebellion, and

crate

a sounding

cricumstance

for development; only a effective fanancial aid can

fuction

as a

palcido

for social potential risk brought by those who unemployment and helpless, can help society keep melody and unity; only a functioning medical care program can ensure mental and physical health of citizen who push the society forward, and only a

compeleted

education and training system can enlighten the local people and gain the long-term progress of society. These four sections of social welfare provide the

foudition

, possibility, resource and power for nation to progress to be a great one. But, is that good enough?

 

Obviously not, only welfare of people cannot serve as a full-ranged measuring standard for great nation, it should be also evaluated with the achievements which

propell

the whole human nature move forward in various fields such as politics, science and art, because only these contribution can gain deference to the nation from the people all of the world, can make the nation be written into the history and remembered by the human being. For example, United State destined to be a great nation when Martin Luther King made the speech named “I have a dream” and Abraham Lincoln successfully led the country through American Civil War,

perserving

union and ending slavery,

enlighting

the whole world with democracy and equity ; England is considered as a great nation partly for its Industry

Revolusion

which had accelerated the progress of technology for the

frist

time in history of human being; Italy can be called a great nation because it is the resource of Renaissance which inevitably spread all of the Europe and created countless artists in that period who have helped diversify human

cultrure

to a highest degree than ever before; I

supossed

no one would

agrue

that such country

undeserve

a great one.

 

Considering thoroughly we can find that these two necessarily elements of great nation’s indicator actually keeping a delicate relationship, that is interdependence and

interpromotion

. Lacking any one of them the indicator could not be a surest one. Social welfare make the maven’s research and success have the possibility, in turn, various accomplishments enrich the content of well-being of society. This is a positive

recircle

leading a nation to be great.

 

In sum, the most instructive indicator must be the combination of social well-being and various achievements in every academic

field

.

According

to this indicator, any nation which

wants

to be great must

handle

welfare and achievements properly and

find

a balance between them, accounting carefully how much money should be supplied to each of them, and changing

flexible

oriented by world’s political and economic climate.

[Bernina]

Thank you for your rating , and your suggestions are very helpful. Are you preparing for GRE? Can we make a friend?