130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society

[redflute]

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."



Children are the future of a society, so each government invested a lot in education. The author implied people have not yet learned how to raise children, however, in my opinion, in range of children education, people have made great progress in many factors, the children's lives are much better than their eldership.

At first, we can see that society paies many attentions to children's health. With the medical technology developing, the new born infant morality has declined greatly, the number of innate deformed babies has greatly droped compared with 40 years ago. For instence, in China,through the body inspection before marrige, the number of babies with innate disease are less. Due to the qaulity of modern life is improving, the average heigh and weigh of adulences are increasing too, all the statistic shows that the health situation of chinese children are much better than before.

The educations for children in global has been greatly improved. According to statistics supplied by United Nations on 2003, the percentage of educated children increased 40% than 40 years ago, and more than 50 times funding were invested in developing countries's education. At the same time, more and more volunteers and scientists attending the researches about children psychology and charactors, and inventing more tools for children. Via the internet and instance communication system, more web sites help children reading and writing, global children can enjoy their more colorful childhood than their parents's.

The formal education for children are improving quality and contents. Except for schools built by government, more and more private schools accept more children, including those deformed children. Various schools provide various choices for children. In the school, they can find the relative lessons whatever they want to be, study as their interests, they have more freedom and chance to imagine and attempt. In contemperary scoiety, the moral restraints have been less than before, to some extent, the society can understand their rebel.

During the process of human civilizing, people have accumulated many experience about raising children, so modern youth have advantages to get more better educations from whole society, which destine the society will be better.

[moon_2016]

Originally Posted by redflute

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."



Children are the future of a society, so each government invested(invests) a lot in education. The author implied(implies) people have not yet learned how to raise children, however, in my opinion, in range of children(child) education, people have made great progress in many factors, the children's lives are much better than their eldership.(elders)

At first, we can see that society paies many attentions(payes attention) to children's health. With the medical technology developing, the new born infant morality has declined greatly, the number of innate deformed babies has greatly droped compared with(to) 40 years ago. For instence, in China,through the body inspection before marrige, the number of babies with innate disease are less. Due to the(this) qaulity of modern life is improving, the average heigh(height) and weigh(weight) of adulences(adolescents) are increasing too,(increase in weight is negative;causes health problems) all the statistic shows that the health situation of chinese children are much better than before.

The educations(education ) for children in global has been greatly improved.(on a whole has improved) According to statistics supplied by United Nations on 2003, the percentage of educated children increased 40% than 40 years ago, and more than 50 times funding were invested in developing countries's education. At the same time, more and more volunteers and scientists attending the researches about children psychology and charactors(characters), and inventing more tools for children. Via the internet and instance communication system, more web sites help children reading and writing, global children(univeraslly children) can enjoy their more(delete more) colorful childhood than their parents's.

The formal education for children are improving(is improving in) quality and contents. Except for schools built by government, more and more private schools accept more children, including those(delete those) deformed children. Various schools provide various choices for children. In the school, they can find the relative lessons whatever they want to be, study as their interests, they have more freedom and chance to imagine and attempt. In contemperary scoiety, the moral restraints have been less than before, to some extent, the society can understand their rebel.

During the process of human(delete human) civilizing, people have accumulated many experience about raising children, so modern youth have advantages to get more better educations from whole society, which destine the society will be better.

(you can give other points than education too;there are other points which help in socialising children..like famly values,ethics,morals;their interaction with other members of the society.Children have to grow up to be better citizens to make society better.....you can add these points).

hey redflute,
you have good points to write in your essay;only thing is keep improving your gramatical points.
cheers,
moon_2016

[redflute]

Thank u for ur kind and encouragement, moon, and it is being a long time, how are u? I really miss u.

Yes, ur suggestion is quite right. so I repaired it. Please revise if u have time.

Via the internet and instance communication system, more web sites help children reading, writing and communicating with others. Such of an openning upbringing circumstance is favorable for children to be open to new ideas for progress , be tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others. They must be more like to engage in a harmonious world.

In contemperary scoiety, the moral restraints have been less than before, to some extent, the society can understand their rebel. There has reason to believe that their incredible openness and enthusiam can bring the human society into a more creative futrue.

During the process of human civilizing, people have accumulated many experiences about raising children, so modern youth have advantages to get more better educations from whole society, which destine the society will be better.


I must say I 'm so careless , make mistakes at the verb singular and plurality .
when will u have ur test?

[moon_2016]

hey redflute,
missed u too i am giving my test on the 4th of september.When is your test?concentrate more on your verbal.How is your maths?
cheers,
moon_2016

[redflute]

Mine is on 11 Aug. I have no time and energy on verbal. Maths, oh, if in chinese, I have sufficient confidence, and my speciaty is computer, so ... But in english, I must master the relative glossary.

How about that two bule sentences???

[moon_2016]

hey,
ur test is just round the corner.what did u mean by How about that two bule sentences???
all the best,
moon_2016

[gre_newbie]

It would be a shame if a Chinese guy fails to get 800 for Quantitative.