I would appreciate anyone rating my issue essay

[Icelander]

* I accidentally posted this in the general AWA forum first, then realized it would be better suited here. Can anyone delete the other one? Thanks *

Hello.

I'm taking the General GRE next saturday, and am now preparing for the Analytical Writing section. I just finished my first practice essay and would appreciate any and all comments on it.

The issue is: "Most of the people we consider heroic today were, in fact, very ordinary people who happened to be in the right place at the right time."

Note: I'm taking a paper based test, so keep that in mind regarding the length of the passage.

My essay:

The speaker acknowledges one requirement for heroism - namely being in the right place at the right time - but leaves out the most important one: doing the right thing. Therefore I do not agree with the issue; it is only a half-truth.

By defining "the right place at the right time" we might come to the conclusion that it happens all the time, all over the world. As a result, many people are regularly exposed to these circumstances that allow for heroism to take place. However, only a tiny fraction of those people are revered as heroes for their actions in these circumstances. Thus, we would assume that there is a third factor; not just time and place.

That factor is: Doing the right thing. Whether it might be risking one's life by rushing into a burning building to save someone inside, or performing extraordinary feats of strength by lifting a car to free the driver trapped underneath, heroism requires doing the right thing at the time. It requires selflessness; a trait that is not necessarily inherent in "ordinary people".

Furthermore, heroism seldomly occurs in a vacuum. Most often other people are involved, without whom heroism might not have occurred. People such as rescue planners and other volunteers come into mind.

In the final analysis, I have revealed that heroism does in fact require more than circumstances; it requires the person in question to take the correct course of action as well. We all happen to be in the right place at the right time sometimes, but only the true heroes have the necessary qualities to recognize the needed action and to actually take it.

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I'm not super happy with it, but it's a start. Any thoughts?