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Thread: Essey "Educational institutions have a responsibility.." Review, please!

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud Mariko's Avatar
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    Essey "Educational institutions have a responsibility.." Review, please!

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    Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

    Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

    Response:


    Before answering the question let’s think about what responsibility is. As it is known responsibility means one’s obligations to prevent or to take all negative consequences of certain action. Regarding the question it means that educational institutions have an obligation to persuade students to choose only “right” directions of studying, that is only those fields in which students are successful.

    Here I want to present some reasons, that incline me to refute the idea of educational institutions responsibility for student’s choice of fields of studying.

    First of all, I have to state that in civil society educational choice is a choice of a concrete individual. As far as building and maintaining of civil society is our pivotal aim there are no formal basis for educational institution to take the responsibility for an individual educational choice. Otherwise, we face the situation of personal constraint and choosing educational field under duress.

    Secondly, sometimes it’s very difficult on early stage to discover student’s gift and aptitude for a certain discipline. For example, great scientist Albert Einstein during his school years had only “satisfactory” marks on math and physic. Let’s imagine what would happened if educational institution where he was studying started to persuade him to change the study field from science towards, say, arts – the world would lost one of the greatest physicist. Therefore there are a lot of risks, first of all, for society as a whole, to lose a good specialist in case when educational institution takes responsibility to influence the students decisions regards pursuing the field of study.

    However, I can predict some contradictions towards my position supporting the claim. They might be as follows. Responsibility of institutions to influence the students educational decision can help young people with difficult choice of future profession and prevent them form wasting their time on disciplines in which they will never be successful. Also in this case educational institution allows the society to save time and resources, and enhance the quality of future graduates. Yes – will be my answer - but how can you know for sure what a real person’s professional mission in life and in what professional field the person will be brilliant indeed?

    To conclude, it is personal right to chose the educational field and, as a consequence, the future life path. Educational institution can help with this difficult decision with recommendations and with entrance tests but not to take the whole responsibility to influence the students decisions.

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud Mariko's Avatar
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    Write something please - if it's bad, what to do to improve writing in english?

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    (1) i think you might try using first person less, making the essay a bit more formal;
    (2) you can also develop your body paragraphs a bit more ...

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud Mariko's Avatar
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    GREAWfailend, thank you very much! to develop - you mean, for instance, to use more examples?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariko View Post
    GREAWfailend, thank you very much! to develop - you mean, for instance, to use more examples?
    Yep, for example, in your 3rd paragraph:
    "As far as building and maintaining of civil society is our pivotal aim there are (is) no formal basis for educational institution to take the responsibility for an individual educational choice."
    I think you can add one or two more sentences explaining it a bit more, such as "because the role of educational institution is ..."

    This is my personal opinion... I'm struggling in the GRE writing nightmare too

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    Hi, I'm writing an analysis on this issue too, and my points of view are similar to yours. But I have some question on your example of Einstein. The fact is that, as you said, he was developing what he is already good at(math and physics). You see, if he was devoted into arts and succeeded despite his poor grade, then it's a counterexample for the issue. But now the example seems to be supporting it because as you mentioned in the following, abandoning some field of study that he wasn't good at made him the greatest physicist later on.

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