I have written a sample issue essay chosen from the ETS pool. Any feedback??

[Ramtin Ko]

I chose, brainstormed and wrote the essay in 30 minutes under real test conditions. Any pointers on how I can come up with better examples in a more efficient manner? Thanks In advance.

 

It is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as a hero.

 

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

 

It has been argued that a society as a whole can no longer consider any living man or a woman as a hero. This is a complex issue indeed. While the issue at hand is sometimes true, on other occasions it is false. Examples from both sides of the isseue will be presented herein.

One example that supports the notion that no living man or woman can no longer be regarded as heros by a society is the vast amount of people that are all around us. For a whole society to consider one single human being that is still alive as a hero is indeed almost impossible. That person must have done something to forever affect the lives of every single person in that society. Today with the amount of people each society represents, and the differences among those people make it much harder for one person to rise up and make himself in to a hero. For example, a man with lots of morals and ethics can be regarded as a hero in his own culture and by the people he surrounds himself with. However the society as a whole may not have even heard of him. For him to be considered a hero he would have to change the society as a whole for the better.

On the other hand, A living man or woman can be considered a hero if they are in the right place at the right time. For example in 2009, when the Iranian presidential elections went awry and the people of Iran took the street, there were many heros that were discovered. One example is a young girl named Neda. She was shot by a militia member because they thought she was recording the scene. She became an instant hero in the eyes of the society, because she showd the whole world how horrible the governemt was acting. She was still alive when she became a hero, and she was fighting for her freedom, for her rights, and was shot in the process.

Also to claim that it is no longer possible for a society to consider any living man or woman a hero is again false. The men and women that risk their lives serving the military are each considered heros. They are treated with respect and love when they return home from deployment. They are always regarded as heros in articles, and news. While their fame my not last very long, they will always be remembered and talked about.

Therefore it seems evident that the notion holds true because of all the cultural, ethical, and moral differences that exist in one society; it is extremely difficult for that society as a whole to consider on man or woman a hero. On the other hand to this day it is possible to consider one man or woman a hero if they are at the right place at the right time. If they are fighting for the right cause, the cause that will change everyone’s lives for the better.

[H10okie]

1. I cannot tell what your position is on the issue so make sure you state it in the intro.

2. If you are running out time/need more time, try spending 3 minutes brainstorming ideas for and against the issue. Then spend only a minute or so on the intro (essentially let the intro be your thesis sentence) and spend that extra time you were using on the intro developing your body paragraphs. Use any time left to revise the essay including adding extra sentences to your intro or adding more analysis with your examples.

 

I also wrote an essay on the same issue. Please provide any feedback! Thanks!

 

It is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as a hero.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

 

People can be declared heroes in our society for multifarious reasons. Every year CNN showcases its heroes of the year, who were nominated by their peers, and details why this person is deserving of the title “Hero of the Year.” Therefore it is possible for any living man or woman to be regarded as a hero.

Before diving further into why society can have a living hero, we must first address the issue of the definition of a hero--- what does hero mean? A hero is someone that makes a positive impact on a dire situation and he or she does so not for monetary gain or notoriety but to ameliorate the situation. Thus one can be considered a hero even if he or she does not aim to be one. Furthermore a person can be labeled a hero when he or she is living or dead because a hero is not defined by his or her status as living or dead but by his or her actions.

Moreover these actions are what society uses to regard someone a hero. During the United States Civil Rights Movement individuals such as Martin Luther King Jr., Frannie Lou Hamer, and Rosa Parks were deemed heroes of the Civil Rights Movement. However they were not deemed heroes because of their impact on the movement while living.

Rosa Parks’ refusal to move to the back of a Montgomery, Alabama bus catalyzed the Civil Rights movement and inspired others to protest the unfair status of African Americans in society. Frannie Lou Hamer increased black voter registration in Sunflower County, Mississippi, an area that before Hamer’s efforts had no black registered voters and known to be a dangerous county for any Civil Rights advocate.

However dissenters to the idea that it is possible to regard any living man or woman as a hero may challenge the idea by using a hero’s transgressions to devalue his or her moral character and lessen the impact that person may have had on society. For example Martin Luther King Jr.’s torrid love affairs as a married man make him someone that should not be remembered as a hero--how can someone preach equality but at the same time cheat on his wife with many lovers be deemed a hero? Regardless of a hero’s transgressions, what deems a person a hero is the impact he or she has and what he or she is doing to further their positive impact. Martin Luther King Jr. had affairs as a married man but his affairs should not lessen the positive impact he had as a Civil Rights leader nor should it invalidate him as being recognized as a living hero during that era.

A hero is an individual that positively influences and impacts a dire situation regardless of his or her status as a living or dead person. What matters in regard to a person being labeled a hero is what that person does and its impact. Individuals such as Rosa Parks, Frannie Lou Hamer, and Martin Luther King Jr were labeled heroes before their deaths and rightfully so. Each person had a different but positive impact and influence in the Civil Rights Movement. Thus a person can be regarded a hero whether he or she is living or dead.