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Please grade my first GRE Issue Essay: "the ability of humans to think for themselves


Dave Ronca

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I will read anyone's in return.

 

Topic: As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

STARTS HERE -

 

 

Where would we be without technology? Some would argue that we are to technology dependent, from the normal calculator to relying on computer systems to track our finances but others would argue that technology has developed our culture into a new advanced age. In my view, technology enhances the individual, because the ability to think does not dwindle as the reliance on technology increases. The mind is a progressive tool that adapts to the changing environment.

 

 

Those that would argue against the increased usage of technology might point to calculators in schools, or spell check on computers. These actions might be perceived as an individual dependence on technology but is it really? A calculator can do multiplication and division but can it solve multi variable equations? The student still needs to know how to setup the equation, what process to use, and the order it need be completed. The calculator is a stepping stool not a hinder to more sophisticated problems. Another example could be made of spell check on all computers and word processing programs. These options automatically correct spelling and grammar errors. This reliance does not deteriorate our ability to think for ourselves. It is a teaching method and if the mistake is continually being made will help reinforce the proper technique. Technology merely makes humans think more for themselves by increasing accurate information and making it easily accessible.

 

 

Now consider the incentives, there’s the ability to access the internet from various devices such as a computer, phone, or multi media player allowing a person ultimate access to all sorts of information. Need scholarly material for a research project? Want to know the scores and stats of a game the previous night? Would like to read President Lincolns emancipation proclamation address? Surely, open your computer and you’ll have free reign at accessing these questions. These problems may have been answered had you gone to a library or read a newspaper however that would have taken up valuable resources. Both time and money was saved. Thus, allowing further opportunities.

 

 

In conclusion, it is clear that relying on technology does not deteriorate our ability to solve problems. The increase in accuracy, accessibility, and resources permits us to go farther beyond our knowledge than we would be without the technology. Our human ability to solve problems still remains. If anything, technology has opened a door of unfathomable possibilities.

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Generally coherent agreement, by turning reliance into leverage on technology.

The examples of calculator and spell-checker are relevant and parsimonious.

Good that in just a few lines, you have reiterated and reinforced your stance.

 

It is good to say that computing technology helps us to solicit information,

but even so in helping us to assort and analyze information. After all, we are

not only collecting information for the sake of knowing more, but also

summarizing information to generate new ideas, concepts and insights

that help us to deal with problems and issues on-hand more effectively.

 

While knowledge is important, wisdom is even so primarily.

Possessing information aside, we synthetize information!

Cognition is one thing, but metacognition is quite another.

That's what separate computer from human beings.

 

Maybe you can cite more examples from the research field, of how

online databases help to spur research initiatives previously unexplored, let alone

relaxing the spatial trammel to enable worldwide cooperation around the clock!

 

The language is fluent, and the tone is appropriate, with grammatical errors at minimal.

This said, I think you belong to the higher echelon of the GRE writing scale. Good luck!

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  • 1 month later...

Hi there,

 

I think your essay is easy to follow and more importantly answered the question clearly.

Also, examples are good and relevant and support your argument.

 

But I do recommend you to improve your grammar.

For example, you have written "Some would argue that we are to technology dependent"

Is this suppose to be "to" or "too"?

 

Keep practising, I am sure you can get a very good score.

 

Cheers

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