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I would highly appreciate if you can read my essay!


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here is an essay, which I wrote while practicing for the GRE Issue Analysis:

 

A nation should require all of is students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent, to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning fort he position you, take. In developing specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

 

According to the examination of Pisa studies, the best general education can be found in the Scandinavian school system. One strength of the system applied in the Northern European states is the communication of a broad knowledge to the student from an early age on. This means that students are educated in a variety of subjects according to a national curriculum before they receive the opportunity to choose their specialization in college. Acquiring a certain basic knowledge by a taught national curriculum will be beneficial for the student during an entire life, might it be in his/her later profession or personal life.

 

General knowledge is not only important for the future profession of the student; it is also essential during a college career. Connecting the knowledge taught during a specialization in college with a broad knowledge base acquired in pre-education can reveal a great advantage and benefit for the student's future learning.

 

By giving the students the opportunity to create their own curriculum the schooling system looses the control over broad education. Lazy students might choose the easier subjects while students with weaknesses in a certain subject will avoid the classes in fear of bad grading. This leads to the lack of a variety of skills and knowledge and students will be focused on a certain field or subject but will miss the flexibility generated by a broad field of knowledge.

 

The most significant advantage of a national curriculum is the comparability of academic records when evaluating students for college entry. As for example in Germany there has been for a long time a benefit for high school graduates from the southern states concerning their A-level grades in University applications. This was an approach to remove inequalities in schooling systems among the several states in Germany. Due to an increased unification of the schooling system among Germany this benefit system could be terminated some years ago. This example points out the increased difficulties, which are created by a curriculum, which differs among states in a nation.

 

A unified curriculum provides not only advantages but also some drawbacks. Different individuals have different strengths and some students will develop them already very early. By introducing a nation curriculum there are fewer opportunities for students to focus on their strengths and abilities, as they have to follow the general curriculum.

Furthermore if a student has to attend a class in which he/she has no interest they will probably not only perform bad but also start distracting their classmates. This requires then an increased ability of the teacher to communicate the knowledge and purpose of the subject to the students to even motivate students who lack the motivation for the subject.

 

Overall it has to be mentioned that a nation wide unified curriculum is very important for the equal treatment and education of students in a country and that benefits outweigh the challenges.

 

 

Thank you so much for your comments and feedback!

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4.5? (its my first time grading, but I have read about the rubric)

 

I thought your arguments were good and the examples you used supported your opinions well. Your support was one of the strongest element of your essay.

 

I do have some suggestions based on the literature about GRE scoring that I've read.

 

Try to minimize your use of the word 'very' (Kaplan approach to avoiding excessive qualification)

I don't know if you're a native English speaker but I would also revisit the use of commas and hyphens

Finally, and I'm open to correction on this, my understanding is that when you present opposing opinions, you should offer your arguments against them. For example, your suggestion that "Different individuals have different strengths and some students will develop them already very early. By introducing a nation curriculum there are fewer opportunities for students to focus on their strengths and abilities, as they have to follow the general curriculum." could be minimized by saying that the curriculum could alleviate some of these concerns by ensuring that students have a variety of options to demonstrate their learning.

 

Just some suggestions!

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