anindrastogi Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 Hi, This is my first issue essay . Kindly review it and suggest the necessary improvements. Also please mention what would have been my score had i written this kind of essay on the actual GRE. “Governments are justified in circumventing civil laws when doing so is vital to the protection of national security.” While many would say that for any individual or organisation, the nation should come first and hence , it is the duty of all of us be an individual or a corporation to work for the betterment of the nation and act in such a way that our actions contribute to the growth and development of the nation at all levels :social , economical and political. However ,this argument has been misused or rather exploited by many governmental organisations and agencies of several nations to defend certain actions by way of flouting the civil laws that would otherwise be unjustifiable.These organisations or agencies rationalise their acts in the name of national security and protection to their respective nation. However, iam of the view that such bending of civilian laws and rights are not at all justified on the part of any Governmental organisation or security agencies. First and foremost ,laws are designed for a smooth and obstruction free running of a nation . Civil laws help each one of us as an individual to lead a 'civilised life' where we respect the rights and freedom of each of our fellow individuals. A good society always abides by the laws and follows its rights and duties with discretion. One of the fundamental rights of an individual is the right to privacy and freedom and corresponding duty is to appreciate the freedom and privacies of others.Very often , under the veil of "national security" , there are officials that breach upon the individuals' privacy rights by way of telephone tapping , eavesdropping , snooping the emails and text messages , spying etc. In doing so they encroach upon someone;s privacy and what is the basis of this encroachment ? Only suspicion and nothing else. Out of suspicion one can;t just pry upon someone's life or monitor one's day to day activities. And this is not just about individuals belonging to a particular community in a nation , nowdays , infact , cases relating to the security agencies of one nation snooping upon the individuals of another nation have come to light . This is indeed alarming and such actions motivated by suspicion would do no good but to estrange the relationships among the different nations. Secondly, a number of cases relating to the 'fake encounters' of certain militants or persons belonging to some terror outfits have been reported to have occurred in several western countries . While terrorism is a global threat and certainly terror activities should be handled strongly , no government is justified in conducting 'fake encounters' of terrorists. The laws of almost every nation states that an individual irrespective of the nature of crime he or she is accused of is innocent , unless proved guilty. By this logic , everyone deserves a fair and unbiased trial. By way of 'fake encounters ' or launching 'drone missiles' , the governments totally disregard these laws and hence such activities need to be condemned. To conclude , laws are the backbone of any civilised and progressing nation and these laws ought to be upheld both in word and in spirit. By flouting the civil laws and defending by calling it necessary for the "national security and safety of the nation" , one only tries to rationalise ones discreditable actions . Imagine a situation where everyone for some reason or the other starts to bend the laws : what a pandemonium would such situation be.Moreover , by circumventing civil laws , governments create an irony where the creator and protector of laws are themselves involved in loosening the laws. Hence they are not at all justified !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neateditor Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 This title in not in the Pool of Issue Topics, New GRE. You could try practice on the topics I wrote and exchange with me. To receive more comments, please reference my essay on the same topic and comment on it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- my planed date to take GRE: undecided * don't know how to write for a higher grade?! don't know why your writing earned a low grade?! You need to empathize ETS human raters' considerations when rating. Reading and rating many essays samples here illustrate the bad ways and the good ways when writing. Go beyond writing theories! Go practical! Write your response even if it is short or in Chinese. * want me to comment on another of your essay?! Comment on my one and I will response yours on the same topic in a deserved way worth how you revise mine. If possible, please post your essay to be reviewed in a new thread; else you could have hardships figuring out which comment is for your essay. * Writing comments exchange is a cool game. Why not try leaving any response to my essay and see what's back. * Comments on another's essay is itself an argument essay. I will formalize all my comments as an argument writing to your essays. * Rating and criticizing is that easy: GRE: For Institutions: Analytical Writing Argument Task Scoring Guide GRE: For Institutions: Analytical Writing Issue Task Scoring Guide GRE Revised General Test: Score Level Descriptions http://www.ets.org/Media/Tests/TOEFL/pdf/Writing_Rubrics.pdf GRE Revised General Test: Analyze an Issue GRE Revised General Test: Analyze an Argument GRE issue ?_?? GRE_Argument_?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anindrastogi Posted September 9, 2013 Author Share Posted September 9, 2013 Hey guys , please rate this essay and give your valuable feedback so that i may know where i need to improve. A quick reply is appreciated. Thanks & Regards, Anindya Rastogi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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