please rate my response to issue

[jyothsna]

issue: " To understand the most important characteistics of a society, one must study its major cities"

 

The author of the issue consider the best way to understand characteristics of society by studying its major cities.The society contains the group of people who share cultural aspects such as language,dress,norms of begavior and artistic forms.The culture amalgamate the arts,customs and habits that characterize a particular society or nation.

 

In the globalized world, the cities that contribute towards globalization may not reflect the apt cultural aspects of that society.Since the cities are filled with people of diifferent nations who carry their culrural behavior along them, one cannot study the nation's characteristics like norms, behavior and artistic forms.In addition to that, the cities contains mixed cultures and people with different socialbehavior.The city peolple are busy with their earnings where they dont have time to maintain and follow their culutural traits.

 

On the contrary, the village or country sides of any nation reflects the corresponding nation's culture.Since the village consists of local people.The villagers through their daily work like farming,smithing,carpenting help to show their nation's culture.As in farming they show their local crop and through smithing they shoe their culutural,ethenic ornaments or vessels that they use.Thus the countryside restores the nation culture.

 

As urbanization attracting the villagers also, the most people are moving to cities.Some of them move for economic reasons while some move because of attracting city life.Thus urbanization is worning subsequently the remaining the nation's culture.If this continues we can only depict the nation's culture through history books.

 

The issue fallaciously depicts that the important characteristics of society can be known by studying the cities where a few fraction of characteristics of society is remained.For one to understand the nation culture,language,historic aspects one should study their countrysides rather than cities is moving towards globalization.

[Mohit Garg]

Please spell check your essay by running it through a word processor, so that people can easily review your essay.

 

1 Lots of prefix 's' errors e.g. culture amalgamate's'.

2. In the introduction it is advisable that you state your own position on the issue along with a major argument which reading your essay, I believe in your case is the corruption of native culture of the country by the assumed foreign influence.

3. Add up additional arguments and devote one paragraph to each argument by supplementing it with examples.

4. Conclude by rewording the introduction. (You can even delay writing the introduction till you write a conclusion and reword the introduction from the conclusion, however it suits you.)

 

Overall lots of improvement. Best of luck.

 

Please take time to review my essay too. http://www.www.urch.com/forums/gre-analysis-issue/152349-kindly-review-my-issue-essay-post-your-essay-link-i-will-review-you-back.html#post978999