Issue Essay.. My test is Saturday and I'd really appreciate some feedback!

[brittany]

I have not had the opportunity to let anyone grade my essays yet and honestly I've kind of been neglecting the writing section. Since I'm taking the GRE on Saturday, if someone can give me some feedback I would really appreciate it! :)

 

Prompt: Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.

 

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented above

 

Essay:

 

With the large rise in violence in today's society, it is easy to blame it on the immense presence of violence in the media. However, the increasing amounts of violence among children cannot solely be attributed to this surge in media violence. Rather, children's interactions with their parents and peers have a much more prominent influence on their likelihood to engage in violent behavior.

 

 

For one, children pick up social cues from the people around them. From birth on, children are primarily exposed to their parental figures. Therefore, they are more apt to pick up on their social cues because they bear more witness to them. For instance, children learn to speak by engaging in interactions with their parents and observing the interactions between their parents. A child's first word is typically some form of "mom" or "dad" because the child's parents have influenced him to pick up on those words. The same can be seen with other forms of behavior. When children witness their parents acting calm in tense situations, they will pick up on those cues and accept that behavior as normal. On the other hand, when parents become quickly angered and aroused in difficult situations, children pick up on those cues and interpret that behavior as normal and appropriate. The more children are exposed to these and other social cues, the more likely they are to integrate them into their own behavior.

 

 

Additionally, as children grow older they begin to interact with other peers. Research has shown that children who do not have positive parental relationships are more likely to engage with "troubled" peers. For instance, a child who lives in a household filled with violence may be more likely to befriend peers who engage in troublesome behavior, such as using drugs and committing violence. Therefore, when a child interacts with peers who engage in this problem behavior the child may be more likely to engage in that behavior as well. Moreover, this finding will especially hold true if that child's household promoted behavior that was violent because the child will be more likely to believe that behavior is normal and acceptable.

 

 

Although not the sole cause of increased violence among today's children, the rise in violent media has not been without consequences. Just as children pick up the social cues of their parents and peers, they also learn behaviors from what they see in the media. This trend can clearly be seen in the way children play with their Power Ranger toys or Gi I Jos. These characters engage in violence in their TV shows, and children imitate that violence when they play. However, when interpreting this relationship one should keep in mind that often times, children are only exposed to this type of media if it is permitted by their parents. If parents do not allow their children to engage with violent media, they typically are not exposed to it, at least not to a large extent. So while it is true that violent media does play some role in children's behavior, children's exposure to that media relates back to the influence of their parents.

 

 

To conclude, there is no denying that violence has gained a much greater presence in the media today. However, the increase in violence among today's children relates back to a much deeper and even greater presence-the influence of their parents and peers.