FIRST TIME ESSAY-NEED FEEDBACK

[sam93]

Hi guys this is my first time writing an issue essay.I would like a feedback on the same.

 

TOPIC

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

RESPONSE:

There are a number of factors that decide what path in life people choose to take. These factors do not lie in their hands and are largely decided by a sequence of actions taken by their ancestors. Or they might just choose to go with the crowd and do what others do. Nowhere do the majority of people exercise their freedom or creativity in thinking how to live their lives.

One of the most common expressions an Indian parent would use is:’Look at your cousin, he made it into a top engineering college’. What these parent means to imbibe into their child’s mind is that he/she should strive hard and compete with the rest of the country to get into some of the best educational institutions. Every kid who finishes his 10^th grade in India is thrown into a crazy grind to start preparing for a life of an engineer. Children are never at crossroads to decide what they mean to do going ahead in their life. They are just cajoled and manipulated into thinking that engineering is the only career choice that is apt for them.

To bring out another point that bolsters my stand I would like to take the example of countries that are ruled by dictators even in a progressive 21^st century. These are States where the ruler, a king or a dictator, assumes complete control of all the wings of democracy and is the supreme authority in deciding the peoples franchises and rights. The force that gives them this power is generally related to the strong roots and beliefs in religious orthodox views. These despots are never elected by the people. The common masses are never allowed to express opposition and are quailed by suppression through threat and force. What have the people done in order to receive this kind of treatment?

A final point to buttress my stand is that of the havoc that plays out whenever there is a natural disaster or a sudden outbreak of a deadly diseases such as the plague. In the sixteenth century when the mass majority of England was riddled with the obnoxious and vitreolic disease plague there was nobody to blame. It wasn’t any deliberate action that set off the spree of deaths. It was blamed as an act of God. God is said to be a supernatural force that is way mightier and much more powerful than mankind.

To sum up I conclude that , yes, there are certain actions that lie within the control of mankind and decide the course of actions such as our decision to use harmful sources of energy with deleterious consequences. But these consequences are not something any living being is going to face. It’s the future generations that will the pay the price for our choices.And yet again it was forces outside their control that will decide their fate.