Please Evaluate My Writing With Improvement Suggestion

[mustakim]

I am writing on a issue for the first time for GRE test. In that moment, any experienced suggestion about my writing will help me a lot to improve my skill.

 

 

Issue:

"Some people believe that in order to be effective, political leaders must yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise. Others believe that the most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives."

 

 

My Writings:

The objective of a leader is to work for his/her people. In case of a political leader, it's his/her duty to sacrifice him/herself for the wellness of the people who have made him a leader. From this point of view, I support the first group of people who thought that a political leader must yeild to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise. Though it is also true that sometimes a leaders have to stick on their principles rather then what peoples generally desire.

Why a political leader will compromise his/her idealism for the well-being of people? Is that for the reason, leaders have been elected by the peoples votes? No, its not the fundamental point. The becuase is all of his/her political principles actually established for whom? Political principles constructed for the people and to be followed by leaders. So, if somehow it requires to break principle for people, that should also be considered as a principle of politics.

Let's discuss it with a phenomenon. Some political leaders may not like to have foreign investment, because it is directly contradicted the idealism. But, there could be a situation when a mass of unemployment is out there in and there is not enough local investement to cover up this demand. In that state what a leader should do? He/she have to throw the principles to meet the demand of the people. Only foreign investment can immediately solve this problem. This can create large scale of opertunities for the unemployed people that save their livelihood.

As I said before that it is not always possible to meet the demand breaking the principles. There are some consequence that leader have to ignore the wish of people and stick on his objectives. Consider a situation like that people want to reduce tax from lower middle class, but increase it to the higher class. If the principle of a leader is to evaluate everyone as same then this demand is antithetical to that. The princile here actually working for the people considering the fact that enhancing tax to the richer class may disinspired them to invest anymore which consequently affect the people who demand the lower middle class who are demanding it. So, the leader have to stick on his principles in that case rather than to follow the demand of people. But, it should be also noticable that the principle lucidly protect the people from being affected by the more critical problem that could be caused from their demand.

Though I show my positive opinion on both sides, I support to lead the people with their demand rather then the principles because it is the most obvious to me. Leader's have to satisfy people to go with their demands, but also they have to acumen that sometimes digress them to tight on their idealism. A leader must able to decide whether side he/she have to choose on that situation considering to peoples demand with the political idealistic.

 

 

I am looking forward for your valuable suggestion.

Thanks