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Please review my issue analysis


emichele

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I had a lot of trouble writing for this topic and would appreciate any feedback !

 

Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

_________

 

We are each shaped by the challenges and hardships in our lives. This statement is true of everyone but it is particularly true of leaders. Though some people may naturally have leadership qualities which others lack, the true leader develops out of experience. Their quality of leadership is determined by the past demands that have been laid upon them and the expectations from those who surround them. A good leader is created when a person of great potential is pushed into a leadership roles from the demands of the situation.

Some skills can be learned in classroom while others must be learned in-situ. I would argue that leadership is one of the latter. Experience teaches the person responsibility, humility and develops confidence in the correct balance. This careful balance is impossible to recreate from textbook learning. With too much confidence, a leader may not listen to guidance of those who might try to counsel her. With too much humility, a leader would never inspire the respect of those they intend to lead.

The additional qualities of leaders are also developed by these arduous situation. Being metaphorically, "thrown in the deep end", a person given considerable requirements will have no choice but to live up to them. If a person is expected to be generous to those they lead, they will be generous; if they are expected to make risky decisions, they will gamble. As humans, we distain disappointing others. As an example, one only needs look at children who spent years attempting to make their parents proud. People are inspired to satisfy the needs of others.

Now even though demanding situations can create a leader, some falter in these situations. If the stakes are too high or the requirements unrealistic, some people will fail and fade into the background of followers. It is especially true that some have natural leadership qualities and others do not. However, given the correct situation and appropriate demands, these qualities can be developed in even the most unassuming.

While it is true that not every person in demanding situation becomes a leader, it is the only way in which a person can develop the careful balance that is needed to lead. People who find themselves faced with the expectations of a group of followers learn to live up to these expectations or flounder. Those who rise to the occasion become the most successful and erudite leaders.

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Hi emichele! Arguments are well thought out, a lot of thinking has been put to explain those, though the writing can be improved more. Essay contains few grammatical errors like wrong preposition ("particularly true of leaders" in 1st paragraph ), punctuations are missing in few places.

Use of different words either side of pivots mainly synonym will look better, e.g. ("to be generous to those they lead, they will be generous" , second generous can be replaced wit say magnanimity,kind etc.); this won't hurt you but it's looks better.

Throughout points are logically connected and germane to the discussion, except in one or two occasions ( If a person is expected to be generous .... they will gamble.) It sounded really vague and confusing to me as i couldn't discern in first read. Also you can corroborate hypothetical situations with practical, everyday life, examples.

 

Overall, i think you are on right track and this was a good read, just pay little bit more attention to grammar and writing and you can get minimum of 4.5-5.

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