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sarika · 12-23-2002, 08:56 PM

Hi,

Please read this essay and let me know the comments

003. It is more important to allocate money for immediate existing social problems than to spend it on long term research that would help future generations

I do not agree with the idea that it is more important to allocate money for immediate existing social problems than to spend it on long term research that would help future generations. But for the investment in terms of time and money by our forefathers we would not have had any of the technological advancements that we have today. It is our duty towards our progeny that we work towards long term research that would help future generations. I would say, it is equally important to spent time and money on long term research.

Mankind has faced all kinds of social as well as economical crisis from time to time. But the unending curiosity and thirst for knowledge has led him on the path towards success. Let us take the example of drug discovery. We have conquered several infectious diseases that were threats to the very existence of mankind on earth. Today we are able to predict natural calamities to a certain extent. We can't deny that these are because of the time, effort and money that the previous generations invested for long term research.

It takes years to completely evolve a mature technology. Let us take the case of computers and communications. In the early 40's and 50s it exchanging information with people on the opposite side of the globe in a matter of seconds would have been a science fiction. It took several years to develop today's technology. In every part of the world we had all kinds of problems, but it is the years of hardwork and research of our scientists that gave us what we have today. So long term research is a necessity.

In short, we are enjoying the fruits of the hard work of our forefathers. Let us be committed to our progeny.

AmigoRo · 12-25-2002, 02:03 PM

Hi Sarika,

One of my best friends happens to be a Sarika. Wonder whether you are her

My comments about your essay are in red.

Quote:

Originally posted by sarika

Hi,

Please read this essay and let me know the comments

003. It is more important to allocate money for immediate existing social problems than to spend it on long term research that would help future generations

I do not agree with the idea that it is more important to allocate money for immediate existing social problems than to spend it on long term research that would help future generations. But for the investment in terms of time and money by our forefathers we would not have had any of the technological advancements that we have today. It is our duty towards our progeny that we work towards long term research that would help future generations. I would say, it is equally important to spentd time and money on long term research.

Up until the last sentence of the introduction, I thought you were going to take the stance that spending money on long term research was more important than spending money on existing social problems. But then you last sentence said that they were both important. I felt that the last sentence just jumped on me out of nowhere.

Mankind has faced all kinds of social as well as economical crisis from time to time. But the unending curiosity and thirst for knowledge has led him on the path towards success. Let us take the example of drug discovery. The third person pronoun for mankind is it not him. We have conquered several infectious diseases that were threats to the very existence of mankind on earth. Today we are able to predict natural calamities to a certain extent. We can't deny that these are because of the time, effort and money that the previous generations invested for long term research.

Not bad.

It takes years to completely evolve a mature technology. Let us take the case of computers and communications. In the early 40's and 50s it exchanging information with people on the opposite side of the globe in a matter of seconds would have been a science fiction. It took several years to develop today's technology. In every part of the world we had all kinds of problems, but it is the years of hardwork and research of our scientists that gave us what we have today. So long term research is a necessity.

First half of the paragraph is okay. The second half is a bit vague.

In short, we are enjoying the fruits of the hard work of our forefathers. Let us be committed to our progeny. I don't think we should end the essay with a plea.

The problem with your essay is that you start off by saying that you support both sides of the argument, but in deed, your essay is very one-sided. You have failed to mention, even in passing, why it is important to spend money on existing social problems.

Score: 4.0/6.0
Justification: Well written but one dimensional essay.

HTH
AmigoRo

RaviMurthy · 12-27-2002, 01:39 PM

Hi Sarika

Please go thru my posting on the same issue. I found yours is quite good.

thanks

ravi

sarika · 12-27-2002, 05:32 PM

Hi Amigo,

Thanks for your inputs. By the way, I am not the 'Sarika' you were referring to. I see that you are from Thailand. I do not know anyone from there.But nice to know you. Please review my next essay too, no 9 which I just posted.

Hi Ravi,

Thanks for your complement. I couldn't find your essay on topic 3. It is not moderated yet, i suppose. But I will definitely go through it.

Thanks guys

sarika

stephy · 03-20-2003, 12:18 AM

Please rate my essay. This is the secone essay in my 29 year life.:o

003 It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations.

The research always led to progress, and if it was't the reserch we would not have electricity, medicines, modern means of transportation, the nuclear power, and the overall comfort in nowadays living. However there is much to be discovered in all fields of science.
My vista upon this isuue is that each generation makes the present and future for the sequent one, according to its present and previous history. I live in Romania and I must say that here during the post-communist era there was often allocated money for immediate, existing social problems.

At present the social problems are so difficult that if we think at the future generation we might let many people die with poverty. I am talking about the retired people, who are many more than those who work for money.
There are four retired to each 3 nonretired working adults. For comparison: in Germany there are four working adults at each one retired. Which means that each romanian working adult sustains at least one retired, one nonadult, and of course many different State budgets, and also the nonproductive plants where there work tens of thousands of people and where there are lost dayly over at least 2 billion ROL (~60000USD), I mean all these money are paid from the state budget. Many hospitals close because of the lack of fonds. In the news I saw cases when people, old people suicided because of the poverty, also cases when people effectively died of hunger.
Now Considering that nobody helps with nonrefundable money what should be done? I must say that in my opinion health and food are fundamental immediate needs. Education is extremely important for future and also present generations. Many people don't know basic things and processes related to human anatomy. They don't have easily access to sexual education, which is important since there are aborted over two hundred and fifty thousand children each year. Education is very important: people should know their rights, should be able to write, to compute, to know where to ask for help when they have a problem. Education is always an immediate need for whixh money should be allotted.
But the state of destitution wasn't so extreme during the Ceausescu totalitarian regime, which had many more other faults.
I am very happy that his regime was over , I just want to say that since valuable research was possible during his regime
it should be possible now too.
All in all I must say that granting money for the immediate, existing social problems is extremely important for my country in the current circumstances, but research should not be missed.
In the present conditions the Government must alleviate the pauperization by creating opportunities for people to work and by lowering the VAT.

However as a living human being I firmly insist that by doing long term research scientists will attain new discoveries that will combat some ills and diseases, or nuclear weapons, or that will replace the oil with another form of fuel, or that will improve the crops, the food, the air that is very polluted in many crowded towns, or invent better ways of locomotion. In a few words: we live better today than our ancestors lived one hundred years ago only as a result of the discoveries made by the reserchers. After all reserach leads to improving our lifes in very many ways and even prolonging it.
So unless the social problems are inextricable the Government must get and spend much money for research without frugality.

stephy · 05-28-2003, 12:49 PM

Would ever somebody rate my sloppy essay...?
I don't know..

nilimb2000 · 05-29-2003, 01:53 AM

hi stephe,
this is my first message.but i can tell you some points wrong in your essay
1.i think the essay is about long and short term research.you stood by long term research and said nothing about short term ones.i mean your stand on the topic was not clear.
2.your examples are excellent but probably should be linked to the main topic.i mean to link every paragraph the main idea.and as far as possible make equal length paragraphs
3.less personal experiences and beliefs and more on international matters would be better.
but your essays are deep and incisive which is a great advantage.
hope that helps

nilimb2000 · 05-29-2003, 01:54 AM

hi stephe,
this is my first message.but i can tell you some points wrong in your essay
1.i think the essay is about long and short term research.you stood by long term research and said nothing about short term ones.i mean your stand on the topic was not clear.
2.your examples are excellent but probably should be linked to the main topic.i mean to link every paragraph the main idea.and as far as possible make equal length paragraphs
3.less personal experiences and beliefs and more on international matters would be better.
but your essays are deep and incisive which is a great advantage.
hope that helps

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12-23-2002, 08:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
sarika Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 5	Hi, Please read this essay and let me know the comments 003. It is more important to allocate money for immediate existing social problems than to spend it on long term research that would help future generations I do not agree with the idea that it is more important to allocate money for immediate existing social problems than to spend it on long term research that would help future generations. But for the investment in terms of time and money by our forefathers we would not have had any of the technological advancements that we have today. It is our duty towards our progeny that we work towards long term research that would help future generations. I would say, it is equally important to spent time and money on long term research. Mankind has faced all kinds of social as well as economical crisis from time to time. But the unending curiosity and thirst for knowledge has led him on the path towards success. Let us take the example of drug discovery. We have conquered several infectious diseases that were threats to the very existence of mankind on earth. Today we are able to predict natural calamities to a certain extent. We can't deny that these are because of the time, effort and money that the previous generations invested for long term research. It takes years to completely evolve a mature technology. Let us take the case of computers and communications. In the early 40's and 50s it exchanging information with people on the opposite side of the globe in a matter of seconds would have been a science fiction. It took several years to develop today's technology. In every part of the world we had all kinds of problems, but it is the years of hardwork and research of our scientists that gave us what we have today. So long term research is a necessity. In short, we are enjoying the fruits of the hard work of our forefathers. Let us be committed to our progeny.

12-27-2002, 01:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
RaviMurthy Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: India Posts: 6	Hi Sarika Please go thru my posting on the same issue. I found yours is quite good. thanks ravi

12-27-2002, 05:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
sarika Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 5	Hi Amigo, Thanks for your inputs. By the way, I am not the 'Sarika' you were referring to. I see that you are from Thailand. I do not know anyone from there.But nice to know you. Please review my next essay too, no 9 which I just posted. Hi Ravi, Thanks for your complement. I couldn't find your essay on topic 3. It is not moderated yet, i suppose. But I will definitely go through it. Thanks guys sarika

03-20-2003, 12:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
stephy Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Romania Posts: 8	Please rate my essay. This is the secone essay in my 29 year life.:o 003 It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations. The research always led to progress, and if it was't the reserch we would not have electricity, medicines, modern means of transportation, the nuclear power, and the overall comfort in nowadays living. However there is much to be discovered in all fields of science. My vista upon this isuue is that each generation makes the present and future for the sequent one, according to its present and previous history. I live in Romania and I must say that here during the post-communist era there was often allocated money for immediate, existing social problems. At present the social problems are so difficult that if we think at the future generation we might let many people die with poverty. I am talking about the retired people, who are many more than those who work for money. There are four retired to each 3 nonretired working adults. For comparison: in Germany there are four working adults at each one retired. Which means that each romanian working adult sustains at least one retired, one nonadult, and of course many different State budgets, and also the nonproductive plants where there work tens of thousands of people and where there are lost dayly over at least 2 billion ROL (~60000USD), I mean all these money are paid from the state budget. Many hospitals close because of the lack of fonds. In the news I saw cases when people, old people suicided because of the poverty, also cases when people effectively died of hunger. Now Considering that nobody helps with nonrefundable money what should be done? I must say that in my opinion health and food are fundamental immediate needs. Education is extremely important for future and also present generations. Many people don't know basic things and processes related to human anatomy. They don't have easily access to sexual education, which is important since there are aborted over two hundred and fifty thousand children each year. Education is very important: people should know their rights, should be able to write, to compute, to know where to ask for help when they have a problem. Education is always an immediate need for whixh money should be allotted. But the state of destitution wasn't so extreme during the Ceausescu totalitarian regime, which had many more other faults. I am very happy that his regime was over , I just want to say that since valuable research was possible during his regime it should be possible now too. All in all I must say that granting money for the immediate, existing social problems is extremely important for my country in the current circumstances, but research should not be missed. In the present conditions the Government must alleviate the pauperization by creating opportunities for people to work and by lowering the VAT. However as a living human being I firmly insist that by doing long term research scientists will attain new discoveries that will combat some ills and diseases, or nuclear weapons, or that will replace the oil with another form of fuel, or that will improve the crops, the food, the air that is very polluted in many crowded towns, or invent better ways of locomotion. In a few words: we live better today than our ancestors lived one hundred years ago only as a result of the discoveries made by the reserchers. After all reserach leads to improving our lifes in very many ways and even prolonging it. So unless the social problems are inextricable the Government must get and spend much money for research without frugality.

05-28-2003, 12:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
stephy Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Romania Posts: 8	Would ever somebody rate my sloppy essay...? I don't know..

05-29-2003, 01:53 AM	#7 (permalink)
nilimb2000 Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: May 2003 Location: India Posts: 6	hi stephe, this is my first message.but i can tell you some points wrong in your essay 1.i think the essay is about long and short term research.you stood by long term research and said nothing about short term ones.i mean your stand on the topic was not clear. 2.your examples are excellent but probably should be linked to the main topic.i mean to link every paragraph the main idea.and as far as possible make equal length paragraphs 3.less personal experiences and beliefs and more on international matters would be better. but your essays are deep and incisive which is a great advantage. hope that helps

05-29-2003, 01:54 AM	#8 (permalink)
nilimb2000 Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: May 2003 Location: India Posts: 6	hi stephe, this is my first message.but i can tell you some points wrong in your essay 1.i think the essay is about long and short term research.you stood by long term research and said nothing about short term ones.i mean your stand on the topic was not clear. 2.your examples are excellent but probably should be linked to the main topic.i mean to link every paragraph the main idea.and as far as possible make equal length paragraphs 3.less personal experiences and beliefs and more on international matters would be better. but your essays are deep and incisive which is a great advantage. hope that helps

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