198. Please review it

[ruchia]

"Society's external rewards are no measure of true success. True success can be measured only in relation to the goals one sets for oneself."


True success is a very subjective term. Certainly, a person feels extremely satisfied when he/she is able to achieve the goal set by them. I agree external rewards are no measure of what one values as success however they might motivate them to achieve it.
Every person sees success in a different way. For some success might be to be a successful business person and earn wealth whereas for some it might be to voluntarily work for the benefit of society. For military people, success might be to fight for the country until they breathe.


Success for some can be having a very high profile career and for some it might be a balanced between personal and professional life. The company might reward the person who made great contributions to his job and he might also feel successful. However, the other person who was successful in doing a great job and a happy family may not get any reward. But that does not mean that he/she was not successful in their terms.


Similarly, for a student success might be in being an all rounder in the school. At the end of term, the school might reward him for his good grades however he/she might feel dissatisfied since he/she was not able to participate in the school rally for a Nobel cause and debate functions. Hence, each person has his/her own definition of success and society may not reward each person for being able to achieve what they desired in their lives. Therefore, society’s external rewards are no measure of what one values as true success. Some might get rewards and still feel unsuccessful, whereas on the other hand others might feel extremely proud of themselves without getting the reward.


However, society external rewards are necessary for encouraging people and acknowledging their contributions. For example, there are many non governmental organizations that are working towards Nobel causes like removing poverty, illiteracy and improving health. All the volunteers feel successful and extremely happy when they work for such a cause. Whether the society rewards them or not, it does not matter to them. However, it is the duty of the society to acknowledge their contributions. This might act as a source of inspiration for others to step forward.


Hence, to conclude, being able to achieve the goals set by one self is the measure of true success for a person. Some successful people might be rewarded by the society and some not; but that does not measure their success. However, society’s external rewards are necessary to acknowledge contributions of some and inspire others.

[yunpingjian]

I think your essay is great. Good writing.
however, I feel that you need improve your writing skill in terms of organize, develop, and express your critique in a coherent and logically convincing manner. In other words, I can understand what you want to say, but I can not find any clue (senetence or words)of your positive opinion in this essay.

Originally Posted by ruchia

"Society's external rewards are no measure of true success. True success can be measured only in relation to the goals one sets for oneself."


True success is a very subjective term. Certainly, a person feels extremely satisfied when he/she is able to achieve the goal set by them. I agree external rewards are no measure of what one values as success however they might motivate them to achieve it.
Every person sees success in a different way. For some success might be to be a successful business person and earn wealth whereas for some it might be to voluntarily work for the benefit of society. For military people, success might be to fight for the country until they breathe.


Success for some can be having a very high profile career and for some it might be a balanced between personal and professional life. The company might reward the person who made great contributions to his job and he might also feel successful. However, the other person who was successful in doing a great job and a happy family may not get any reward. But that does not mean that he/she was not successful in their terms.


Similarly, for a student success might be in being an all rounder in the school. At the end of term, the school might reward him for his good grades however he/she might feel dissatisfied since he/she was not able to participate in the school rally for a Nobel cause and debate functions. Hence, each person has his/her own definition of success and society may not reward each person for being able to achieve what they desired in their lives. Therefore, society’s external rewards are no measure of what one values as true success. Some might get rewards and still feel unsuccessful, whereas on the other hand others might feel extremely proud of themselves without getting the reward.


However, society external rewards are necessary for encouraging people and acknowledging their contributions. For example, there are many non governmental organizations that are working towards Nobel causes like removing poverty, illiteracy and improving health. All the volunteers feel successful and extremely happy when they work for such a cause. Whether the society rewards them or not, it does not matter to them. However, it is the duty of the society to acknowledge their contributions. This might act as a source of inspiration for others to step forward.


Hence, to conclude, being able to achieve the goals set by one self is the measure of true success for a person. Some successful people might be rewarded by the society and some not; but that does not measure their success. However, society’s external rewards are necessary to acknowledge contributions of some and inspire others.

[ruchia]

Hi
Thanks for reviewing my essay. but sorry I did not get your point about providing clue. I thought I provided examples.

Could you please elaborate?

Thanks.