Please Comment on my essay

[lookingahead]

"Both the development of technological tools and the uses to which humanity has put them have created modern civilizations in which loneliness is ever increasing."

Technology is the means of using the basic principles of science to create something of value to mankind.The basic tenet of technology itself does not violate or support the premise of making man an island.But the use to which it is put is the basic determinant of how technology comes to be perceived.In a world where technology is changing faster than the human mind can grasp and master it, technology has come to have several cultural, social and psychological effects.Technology on the one hand might have added to the isolation of an individual but on the other it has also bridged gaps and helped in bringing people together as never before.

At a time when technology is developing at a break neck speed,it is the irony of our times that the science that helps to increase the amount of disposable time at our hands also throws in front of us an ever more increasing number of things to do with that time.A gamut of gizmos from the IPods ,PCs,game consoles, to high end media and entertainment devices, technology provides us with never ending set of options.It is a question of individual choice as to what a person chooses to do with their time.While the range of choices would have a psychological effect on anybody, the onus lies on an individual to strike a balanced stance.Also as a society it is in the interest of the individual and the society to be able to inculcate the right values by giving the requisite amount of importance to every facet of social and individual needs.As family and community come under the pressure of increasing technological advancements, and changing individual preferences it is an individual and collective choice to live a balanced life, which would be in the interest of all.

While technology might on the one hand lead to an individual spending more time with themselves than interacting and socializing ,Man essentially remains a social animal.Technology has helped bridge gaps in communication like never before and the increasing range of tools such as, online networking ,telephone networking , mobile communications , etc. are a testimony to that.Families living across continents now keep in touch seamlessly over various medias.More importantly technology has led for a better understanding of people across cultures and continents ,people are no longer separated by geographical boundaries,and as put aptly as the title of a book "The world is Flat" , and is becoming more so continuously.Organizations today are functioning in multiple locations with little or no difficulty ,leading to interaction between people of diverse cultures.

In fields such as tele medicine and agriculture technology has helped immensely in the third world countries, bringing the plight of the disadvantaged to their more fortunate counterparts.For instance ,doctors who might be more capable in a certain field are able to assist through tele medicine and conference facilities a doctor in a remote village to perform a complicated operation without being physically present at the site.Farmers can check the current wholesale prices in the markets directly rather than going through a series of money flinching intermediaries to sell directly at an optimum price.More importantly it is cheap and effective technology and the advance in media that has given the rural poor a voice that can be heard far and wide.This is a heartening example of how technology when sensitized and infused with the need to help can bridge gaps effectively.

Hence though technology might be boggling the human mind with an ever increasing range of possibilities, and more to do with free time it has by and large also helped to bridge the gaps between people.It has while creating a gap made sure that enough bridges are built and what would now be needed is an individual and collective effort to walk across the bridges to communicate effectively.

[ruchia]

Originally Posted by lookingahead

"Both the development of technological tools and the uses to which humanity has put them have created modern civilizations in which loneliness is ever increasing."

Technology is the means of using the basic principles of science to create something of value to mankind.The basic tenet of technology itself does not violate or support the premise of making man an island.But the use to which it is put is the basic determinant of how technology comes to be perceived.In a world where technology is changing faster than the human mind can grasp and master it, technology has come to have several cultural, social and psychological effects.Technology on the one hand might have added to the isolation of an individual but on the other it has also bridged gaps and helped in bringing people together as never before.

At a time when technology is developing at a break neck speed,it is the irony of our times that the science that helps to increase the amount of disposable time at our hands also throws in front of us an ever more increasing number of things to do with that time.A gamut of gizmos from the IPods ,PCs,game consoles, to high end media and entertainment devices, technology provides us with never ending set of options.It is a question of individual choice as to what a person chooses to do with their time.While the range of choices would have a psychological effect on anybody, the onus lies on an individual to strike a balanced stance.Also as a society it is in the interest of the individual and the society to be able to inculcate the right values by giving the requisite amount of importance to every facet of social and individual needs.As family and community come under the pressure of increasing technological advancements, and changing individual preferences it is an individual and collective choice to live a balanced life, which would be in the interest of all.

While technology might on the one hand lead to an individual spending more time with themselves than interacting and socializing ,Man essentially remains a social animal.Technology has helped bridge gaps in communication like never before and the increasing range of tools such as, online networking ,telephone networking , mobile communications , etc. are a testimony to that.Families living across continents now keep in touch seamlessly over various medias.More importantly technology has led for a better understanding of people across cultures and continents ,people are no longer separated by geographical boundaries,and as put aptly as the title of a book "The world is Flat" , and is becoming more so continuously.Organizations today are functioning in multiple locations with little or no difficulty ,leading to interaction between people of diverse cultures.

In fields such as tele medicine and agriculture technology has helped immensely in the third world countries, bringing the plight of the disadvantaged to their more fortunate counterparts.For instance ,doctors who might be more capable in a certain field are able to assist through tele medicine and conference facilities a doctor in a remote village to perform a complicated operation without being physically present at the site.Farmers can check the current wholesale prices in the markets directly rather than going through a series of money flinching intermediaries to sell directly at an optimum price.More importantly it is cheap and effective technology and the advance in media that has given the rural poor a voice that can be heard far and wide.This is a heartening example of how technology when sensitized and infused with the need to help can bridge gaps effectively.

Hence though technology might be boggling the human mind with an ever increasing range of possibilities, and more to do with free time it has by and large also helped to bridge the gaps between people.It has while creating a gap made sure that enough bridges are built and what would now be needed is an individual and collective effort to walk across the bridges to communicate effectively.

Hey.. nicely written... I like you organization of cultural, social and psychological effects of technology..
though it does not matter much since you have a very good content.. but try to leave a space after a fullstop (.) and a comma (,). it makes it neat and more readable. Keep writing...Good luck!

[yunpingjian]

Hey:
nice written. However there are few sentences of your essay I can not understand well. Here they are:
1.In a world where technology is changing faster than the human mind can grasp and master it, technology has come to have several cultural, social and psychological effects.
2. Hence though technology might be boggling the human mind with an ever increasing range of possibilities, and more to do with free time it has by and large also helped to bridge the gaps between people.

[lookingahead]

1. Thanks , its been a pleasure to be reviewed since there is no one else outside the online community i can ask to be reviewed by its really great help.


2. Coming to the points that you don't understand maybe i can highlight them better and make the wording more self explanatory but

1.In a world where technology is changing faster than the human mind can grasp and master it, technology has come to have several cultural, social and psychological effects.

I wanted to say that technology is adapting and evolving extremely fast for most people to stay "up to date" all the time.and with the ever inch as an impact on family life , cultural factors - a bridging of gap between countries from the third world and the first world ( just an ex .) , social - little time for community participation. etc.


2. Hence though technology might be boggling the human mind with an ever increasing range of possibilities, and more to do with free time it has by and large also helped to bridge the gaps between people.

As in technology is throwing a ever growing range of options in front of us which means we have more and more to do with our leisure time like listen to music , play games etc etc.While this is the same technology that increased the amount of disposable time on our hands.

Rgds