Wooooow Times New Roman Font. This would be a challenge to me.
I can't read Times New Roman but I'll do my best!!!!
I read thy essay and I have the following comments:
Note: my comments are in blue, the words in light pink should be omitted and the words in red should be added to the essay.
The issue is that all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they tech teach so as to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level. The issue seems to be sound at first glance; however, looking at this issue deeply and carefully, we can know see that this issue in not entirely cogent. In the following paragraph essay, I will try to illustrate my point of view about this issue.
Good introduction although I feel it resembles the argument introductions.
Admittedly, there is no denying that pragmatic applied sciences emerge and more colleges and universities establish these practical departments than before. Owing to this phenomenon, the professors, teachers and faculty who belong to these pragmatic applied science departments not only gain the knowledge from books but also need more useful and practical experiences. If teachers and professors of the pragmatic applied sciences have practical experiences, their students will regard their teachings and lectures as persuasive. For example, journalism department offices always invite the successful reporters and journalists to their departments to teach their students.
I feel that the example is a little bit unrelated to the paragraph (there is no relation between the different fields of science and journalism). I'm also not sure about what u mean by pragmatic science. To release the confusion, can we say "the applied disciplines"?
Due to the practical experiences of the faculty, the students of pragmatic applied sciences will easily understand what they learn and convince will be convinced by the professors and teachers’ lessons. In addition, if professors and teachers of pragmatic applied sciences spend time working outside the academic world and engage in something that is relevant to the courses they teach, they can give their students useful suggestions and help students who are serious about pursuing a career in that field to make correct career decisions.
I think it would be better if u separated this one big paragraph. i.e the new paragraph begins with this new point.
Moreover, some social sciences researchers and professors always spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach because they want to acquire the accurate research data and results. That is to say, more social sciences faculty take advantage of working outside the academic world in order to discover social problems, observe social phenomena and explain depth meanings of social facts. I took sociology for as an example; more sociologists and professors of sociological departmentsof universities are inclined to participate in some groups and organizations with an eye to observing observe the problems, causes and results. In Taiwan, one sociological researcher once spent one week prostituting in order to know why prostitutes engage in erotic jobs and interactions between prostitutes. Form From what is mentioned above, we can’t deny that faculty who belong to pragmatic or social sciences should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach for the purpose of benefiting their students and improving the quality of instruction at the college and university level.
Again, I'm not sure if the example is related to the point of thy view.
However, there are the other disciplines that their faculty is unnecessary to spend time working outside the academic world. To elaborate the above statement, natural scientists will be puzzled when some people request them working outside the academic world. As everybody knows, natural scientists always spare no effort to do their studies in academic fields. For example, chemists must do their researches in laboratories. If you ask them spend time working outside the laboratories, they will be confused and don’t won'tknow what you are talking about.(not very strong sentence.) The other example is that mathematics professors in universities don’t spend time working outside the academic world because working outside the academic world is futile to their research field. On account of the above explanation and examples, we can realize that not all faculty professors should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in that some researchers and professors of natural sciences should concentrate on academic field rather than do futility outside the academic world.
In this paragraph u may add some points to show the disadvantages of working outside the academic field such as:
The professor may be distracted by having another work beside teaching responsibility and could be distracted by gaining fortunes from his work outside the university.
The professor may be tired and could be unable to focus on teaching which is the main purpose of being a professor.
(Sorry if I couldn't put my ideas in good sentences.)
To sum up, it goes without saying that some faculty spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach will avail their students and better the quality of education at the college and university level. Nevertheless, not all disciplines’ faculty should necessitated spending time working outside the academic world, in contrast, some sciences’ faculty like natural scientists should be diligent in their academic world for the sake of improving their research and instruction qualities of colleges and universities. In the light of the above reasoning, the issue claim is compelling apparently in some part, but it is not entirely cogent.
The structure of this sentence(in light pink) needs to be reorganized as the following:
Nevertheless, not all the faculty members are required to spend time working outside the academic world, in contrast, some professors who are teaching scientific disciplines should be diligent in their academic world for the sake of improving their research and instruction qualities of colleges and universities.
In general, u need to work on thy organization of the essay, there is also some grammatical mistakes.
I hope that u don't mind my comments.
See u soon LouisLin and keep posting