Bigduke's AWA Coaching!

[bigduke]

Yep! you saw that thread heading correct.
After correspondence with Erin, I decided to start this thread for coaching all of you prospective GRE exam takers out there seeking AWA help. Kindly post your essays in this thread if you wish to have them evaluated and I shall also be giving you personalised tips on how to improve your writing skills. BUT, I can only guide you, I can't work miracles.

This thread is now officially open to all.

Note for Erin : Can this be turned into a sticky ?

[bigduke]

Don't tell me no one's interested

[e-lusion]

Originally Posted by bigduke

Don't tell me no one's interested

I will be when I start writing my essays which will be in a few weeks time

[Erin]

Originally Posted by bigduke

Note for Erin : Can this be turned into a sticky ?

Stickied for now! Hope you have enough stamina to keep it going--you may find that essay work is tougher than it seems.

I suspect that things may start off slow, but once the ball gets rolling, you won't be able to keep up.

[nirmalya123]

Bigduke it's really amazing!!!!!...
AWA is in general the most neglected part of GRE....
because no one is there to evaluate one's essay...
of couse Testmagic members are the exception...
You r exceptional among exception....MAVERIK
KUDOS.......

[bigduke]

Off Topic:
Erin ... didn't you say you had an HR recruiting agency?

[Erin]

Off topic:

Happy birthday (a day late)! Saw your name up here and on SitePoint yesterday.

[bigduke]

Danke schoen Erin

[rahul13]

hii big duke,
it's great of you to help us with the AWA section.I shall be sending you a few, do send me u'r response. Thank you and i wish you all the best.
bye...

[Big Dog 04]

Before u change your mind, here are 2 essays - thanks in advance.
PERSPECTIVE
Sports stars and movie stars have responsibilities to young people as role models. This is because they earn millions of dollars and the least they can do is to exemplfiy good behaviour to their fans.

I think this is a classic example of specious reasoning. The premise sounds good and even appears logical and sound but on careful consideration, certain flaws are evident. I think this statement is quixotic and should be qualified by parents accepting the influence famous people have but ensuring their influence on their kids is the most important.

Children are often described as a 'gift' though many parents at certain trying periods may disagree. However, majority of parents are happy and proud of their kids. However they should also be responsible for their behaviour thus it is their duty to be role models rather than the movie stars or sports stars.

Human beings are generally social thus live in communities. I think it is a societal responsibility to determine what type of behaviour to promote or to suppress. Celebrities may behave in one way simply to present a public persona and gain fame it may not be their true character. Also, what may be good for one person to do may be catastrophic for society if we all did it. It is good for a person to save for the future, but if everyone in society did it the local economy would consume since all the major economies are highly dependent on individuals consumption to generate demand.

Lastly, people usually don’t become 'stars' because of good behaviour. It is mainly due to the talent they have e.g. playing football, acting or singing. Thus it is a bit hypocritical to expect them to be paragons of virtues after they are famous.

However, they wield influence over young people. Thus, they may do what their 'star' tells them to do. This is evident when a particular celebrity endorses a certain soft drink and then sales triple soon after. They may also dress like them or behave like them.

This may be because modern families do not offer positive role models due to the number of broken or single parent homes. Also society may emphasize the wrong things e.g. making money and becoming rich instead of being a responsible parent and taking care of your family.

Thus other factors are involved but suggesting that movie stars should be role models suggests we are devolving the job of role models to them instead of doing it ourselves. Also, they may put on a public front may be completely different in private.

Lastly, I am not sure its advisable to live in a society where young people are taught morals by sport stars rather than their families. If politicians are told not to get involved in personal business, that is we do not want a nanny state, why should we want famous people to?