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Please provide score and feedback on argument task essay.


SiGuy

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Hello, would anyone be able to review, score (0-6), and provide feedback on this essay I wrote for the Analytical Writing Argument portion for the GRE practice test? This is my first time responding to a GRE AWA argument prompt (this was part of a practice test, not a real GRE). I followed the 30 minute time limit when writing this essay. Yes, I am aware there is a spelling error in this essay.

 

Question copied from practice test: SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's current headquarters. Moreover, Middleburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision.

 

 

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on the assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

 

 

My essay response:

 

This argument assumes that Middlesburg is less safe than Corporateville. From this assumption, the author concludes that working in Corporateville is better than working in Middlesburg because it is safer. No actual evidence or data is presented to support this assumption. For instance, no data is provided on the diffrences between crime rates in the two areas, or about the proximity of these two areas to natural hazards such as volcanoes. If it was known that Corporateville was next to a massive volcano that has a Ultra Plinian eruption every 10 years (but Middlesburg is not near any natural hazards), this would invalidate the author's argument that Corporateville is safer, and therefore a better location for the company's headquarters. Another assumption is that the results from the survey of SuperCorp workers represents the majority opinion of all SuperCorp employees. The assumption that the survey is accurate leads the author to conclude that SuperCorp made the best decision for the majority of its workers. It may be possible that only the employees who are most passionate about moving their company's headquarters to corporateville responded to the survey. The author also assumes that the increase in homeownership in Corporateville demonstrates that Middlesburg is a less desirable place to work in. The author does not inform the reader as to whether or not people are moving out of Middlesburg in large numbers. It may also be possible that there is a surge in the amount of homeowners in the town of Middlesburg. People may be moving into both areas in large numbers, which would invalidate the argument that the increase in that the increase in homeownership in Corporateville demonstrates that Middlesburg is a less desirable place to work in. We also do not know where all of these people who are moving into Corporateville are coming from. If it was known that most of the people buying homes in Corporateville had moved to CorporateVille from Middlesburg, the author's argument about the surge in homeownership in CorporateVille demonstrating that is a superior place to work would be stronger.

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