Need to grade my Writing Task 2.

[leyan]

Everybody who much know in IELTS rules can grade my essay. I just want to know which level I reached ?

The advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most effective media.

- comics
- books
- radio
- television
- film
- theatre

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.



Nowadays, it is obvious that media have been using as the important role in communication all over the world. Most people usually exploit those devices, such as radio, television and film, for getting information. All of our informations will be shared to others by using these media.

Some people seem that they would easy to take radio everywhere and they can listen to the up-to-date news anytime. Although, radio could give updated informations for them, their minds have not satisfied upon it. So, television is becoming the most attractive thing for them because they can listen the voices and watch the pictures at the same time that they think they can easy to understand the informations on TV. Furthermore, books are one of the interested media to communicate information, for example, the person who knew the parts of knowledge, he can share his knowledge to another person by lending his books or point to buy the books.

On the other hand, disadvantages will be followed together with advantages, therefore, there has so many disadvantages on each devices. Both of radio and television cannot accept frequencies at remote areas and if the electricity cannot support for them, there may be applied them. Thus, we cannot gather informations in those circumstances. Also, books have some disadvantages, for example, wrong ideas, imitate creations, time lated news and so on. These might be interfered in collecting informations.

In conclusion, people need to choose the most effective media for future. It has long been my belief that television is the suitable thing for collecting informations. We can look and listen about latest news, culture, traditions, sociality and so many things on TV in these days without any troubles. Therefore, I strongly believe that we should choose television to communicate informations.


(299 words)

[leyan]

This is my first essay so it might be getting wrongs a lot here, if so, sorry for reading my essay but I just want to know which level I reached. Thanks. = )

[hellovn]

Hi leyan, I am not an expert in english, but here are my suggestions:

Maybe it is wrong, you need to check it again )

each devices --> each device

informations --> information

Your essay is very good and organized

[leyan]

Less Kindness n concern for others when electronic things are appeared. Opinion on AGREE.


Today is the day when we step to a new world which build with latest technologies. So, everybody seem to have more and more possessions, such as, electronic entertainments, domestic machinery, office tools, etc. That is why they don't have time to help others where as they spend their everyday lives for making money.


One of the report of United Nations, most of the people who live around the world have been spending all of their times to make money. Therefore, they have not spare time to worry for others who are less any chances than them. Even though, the man who perfect in money at his life, also do not want to use his times to help someone, because every time he thinks how he can get more money from others. There is evidence to suggest that some of electric machines are being approach to lack humanity. As a result, a person will think everybody can do everything by applying that machines without his activities.


On the other hand, money is the essential part of the human beings. So, they used various methods to make money cruelly. While, they have been finding money in such ways, the criminal records are increased significantly day after day. Because, they need to fill the gaps of their lives by using money, how poor they are. For instance, they may worry that they would have less freedom and social in their lives. This would have a large negative impact on society.


So, in conclusion, I feel strongly that we do not have any chances for concern others when the electronic things arose. Why cannot we make a plan to help everyone ? Firstly, we should decide to help and patient whether we own these things, isn't it ? Eventually, that is up to you, if you want to be a good person, you may have at least one chance to help anyone.


(294 words)


This is my second essay, but I still get what is right or wrong in using Grammar. So, everybody be patient to read my essay again.. Thanks...