rate my essay please

[Asool]

this is for task 2 academics can you please have a look at it ang give me your tips please

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?


parenting is the hardest job on earth. it takes two people to raise ( FATHER AND MOTHER).Each one of them can have
very different view considering child-caring especially if they
are broken up . this essay aims to talk about rules on parenting.
First, parents can be very relaxed about having certain rules to displine their kids. they believe that if they have strict rules,their kids will love them no more .so, they tend to allow everything to kids like staying up late and watching televisions for very long ours .
on the other hand, parents can be very strict in rasing their kids . they might even beat them if kids do anything wrong .they think that is the only way to protect them. ( while the oppsite is true , they will lose them that way . one have to be moderate and holds the stick by its half. parents should attent classes such as
disipline young kids or even reading about it.
to sum up , parenting can be very tiring but rewarding at the same time . parents should have rules in the house for any one living in the house should follow .otherwise, the house will be a nightmare with little children.children's behaviour is unpredictable , but if parents apply punishment for bad behavir and reward for good behaviour (reinforsment) , that defintley will reinforce good behavior for a long run.parents should be very strict concerning applying the rules, by that they set a role model in front of their children for them to look up to .Furthermore , more restrictions in the house hold may frustrate the kids . it is very healthy to have fun and change some of the rules if they prove non effectiveness for the children . it is the parent responsibility to set and create a smothing balance between punishment and rewarding . 97 people from other countries might have different experience as how to raise a child , a parent have the chice as what to think to be very effective dealing with kids and later on when they become teenagers.

[Asool]

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[backup]

Well, I'm not a professional but it is more easy to see other's fault so I think this essay doesn't seems like a band 7.

You should connect your sentences like,

Parenting is the hardest job on earth, furthermore, it takes two people to raise, each one of them can have very different view considering child-caring.

And your essay is extremely long 353 word instead of 250, however, it has very short supporting paragraphs and the conclusion is unnecessarily long. I hope you can improve your writing soon.