please give some critical suggestion on my issue! Thanks~

[senmai]

Cambridge4 Test4
In many countries schools have severe problem with student behavior.
What do you think are the cause of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
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Many schools face the issue of severe problems on student behavior. What are the causes and what solutions work have been discussed a long time in the pedagogy circles.

I turn first to the causative factors of student poor behavior. It is well admitted that contemporary educational system fails to nurture a wholesome development if children since an over extending focus on academic training. While equally important issues like indoctrinating traditional values, nurturing moral uprightness, reinforcing ethical principles and respecting and monitoring their emotions are place at the end of our priority list. The end product of this unilateral education is a generation of intellectually competent but emotionally and morally crippled. Some show little respect to others and low tolerance to different beliefs. Some are selfish, arrogant and dishonest when interacting with their peers. Some are deficient in managing their own behavior and even went out their anger and resentments by hurting other people.

The schooling, parental and social influence plays a suboptimal role as models to the young, adding another responsible factor to this issue. This claim is best supported by empirical evidence. Many can be seen that if parents are addicted in gambling, alcohols or drugs, or frequently engaged in quarrels, even family violence, their children might not develop good manners. Our society also fails to live up its role in providing a healthy environment for children. This situation that contemporary cartoons and TV programs for children frequently contain violence and pornographic contents serves as a case in this point. It is the duty of our schools, families, communities and society as a whole that make our children who they are.

As for solutions to this issue, socialization is an indispensible course in shaping student good manners. Particularly, in primary or secondary education, interacting with their peers helps children grow into socially accommodating adults. Socialization enables them to learn about tolerance, appreciation, cooperation and compromising, which prevent them from being self-centered individual. With better practices of socialization, they will restrict their inappropriate manners and fins easy to get along with others.

[backup]

Your vocabulary is so rich and your writing is perfect for me I would like to write like you. Can you give any advice, some of your writing practising tips or how to enrich my vocabulary like yours??? I would be so appreciated.

[senmai]

Just read more and write more! I don't think there is any shortcut in improving your writing than practice.