Please check my work.and rate it for IELTS.

[jamilakn]

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, and increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

How people can prepare themselves to face the future challenges in their lives? People enter educational institutes for various reasons for instance they enter to prepare for future careers and to get knowledge and experiences about themselves and world around them so that they could have successful lives as well as enjoy to status of good citizens .

Generally the main purpose to enter a college or a university is to get a certificate or a degree along with the required knowledge and skills to fulfill their job assignments which are the basic requirement for applying a job. Students are greatly concerned about the jobs and careers as it is getting hard to earn living without a professional qualification. They spent a lion's share of time struggling to get a degree or certificate. This phenomenon is vey much apparent in our societies.

When a student enters a college or university he meets people different from his home town and learns how to handle people of different behaviors and attitudes. Similarly he comes across different situations and learns how to tackle difficult situations. Such experiences help to broaden one's horizon and help one to acquire certain skills like competitive experience and group working. Staying alone or being independent one has to make decisions at one's own that increase one's knowledge and experience about oneself which heightened one's self-confidence.

In conclusion all people should be encouraged to enter a college or university. It has been seen that the purpose to gain experience and knowledge has been ignored in the race to earn a certificate or degree. For a successful life an academic qualification is vey much needed along with knowledge and experience of world around us.

[Pete J]

Hi

 

I've read your essay and would like to mention a couple of points and make a suggestion.

 

The first point is that you use a range of grammar and vocabulary to express your ideas; this is a really positive point because both of these areas are assessed in the IELTS test.

 

The second point is that there are a few mistakes in your use of grammar and vocabulary, which will affect your IELTS score.

 

One of the mistakes is your use of the word 'world'; you're talking about a specific 'world' (i.e. our world), and so the article 'the' should be used, e.g. '...experience of the world around us'.

 

Another mistake is your use of the word 'apply'; when you use the word ‘apply’ to talk about making a job application, you need to use the preposition ‘for’, e.g. '...applying for a job'.

 

I'd like to suggest that in future you practice your writing by using official IELTS Writing tasks. In the real IELTS test, you wouldn't get a question like the one you've answered; IELTS Writing task 2 questions do not give you a list of reasons and then ask you what the reasons are.

 

You can find some official IELTS Writing tasks in the writing section of the IELTS preparation blog. You can also find a suggestion on how to make fewer mistakes in your writing there.

 

Good luck with your test.

 

Pete

[jamilakn]

Thanks for your review.if you could please mark my essay for ielts .

[Namrata Arora]

Hey Jamilakn,

Check this out

How people can prepare themselves to face the future challenges in their lives?

It should be "How can people prepare themselves to face challenges that crop up in future?" In this paragraph, you have also used "could" incorrectly.

Coming to Vocabulary, you don't "enter" an educational institution. You "gain admission".

 

There are many Grammatical mistakes. I'll advise you to attempt the IELTS Grammar Tests I have uploaded on wiziq.com Ask me if you face any problems.

 

Your Score: 6/9

Good work on Organization

Fair in Grammar and Vocabulary

[jamilakn]

Dear Pete,

I shall be thankful if you could check my complete essay and suggest me few strategies about writing an essay of band 7.

[Pete J]

Hi,

 

This is what it says about the content of a writing band score 7 in the official IELTS descriptors for task 2:

 

- addresses all parts of the task

- presents a clear position throughout the response

- presents, extends and supports main ideas but... supporting ideas may lack focus

 

What this means is that it's important to answer all parts of the question, make sure your opinion is clear and consistent, and to develop your main ideas by explaining them and using examples.

 

There are examples of IELTS band score 7 essays in the Cambridge series of past exam papers (e.g. Cambridge IELTS 6 or 7).

 

As I said before, it's important to use real IELTS essay questions in your preparation; if you don't, then any score that you're given for your writing may not be an accurate reflection of the score that you're going to get in your exam.

 

Good luck,

 

Pete