Please Grade my essay-3 for IELTS?

[dilruk336]

hi all,

please evaluate my essay by providing a BAND score and provide your sugessions are highly acceptable.

Thank You.

Topic = Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of nation’s history.

However, some people think old buildings should be knocked down to make way for new

one because people need houses and offices

 

There are many older buildings all over the world which protected by laws.Some people think older building should knocked and use them in more productive manner but others don’t.I will guide you above both these side during rest of my essay.

First of all some people think that older building should destroyed and build houses and offices. It is fine for the older buildings which constructed long time ago but still don’t have a proper structure , cause lot of problems to city development and not that much important for the history of the nation. But this not true for the buildings which have a greater history value. We must protect these things without knock them out. For a example , lot of Europe counties such like Britain , France etc. modernized by new constructions while keeping older buildings as it is.This proven that still people can build houses and offices without harming historical buildings.

 

Other than that , having older buildings adding a greater value to Tourism Industry. Most tourists like to travel and visit countries which contain lot of older buildings than the countries which don’t have. For a example Europe countries become major tourist attraction point since they have lot of historical buildings. But African countries don’t have much older buildings don’t become a tourist attraction point.

 

Finally , there should be older building in order to learn their history by the grand children’s. If there is no older buildings any more they don’t aware about this. It’s not fair and they must aware about their history.

 

In summarizing all the above mentioned facts , I would suggest older building must kept in protect to the future.

[ielts2u]

You should get 5.5 for this and maybe 6.0 if you are taking the test in your country. I am happy for other teachers to disagree with me on these numbers :)

 

The question is answered and the reader can follow your argument.

The vocabulary is sometimes informal (e.g. "Other than that, lot of,...") and the grammar has a few mistakes. The biggest mistake is the use of the Passive Tense/Voice.

 

You actually could improve very quickly as some of the sentences used here show great potential.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Mike

ielts2u